This Christmas...

So, I am going to whine a little bit, but then I promise I will get to my point. Stick with me here...

As most of you know my divorce happened pretty quickly. In less than 30 days I went from what I thought was happily married to a finalized divorce, and living three hundred miles away with my parents. I got out with my kids and little else. That is all I asked for, and it was a compromise that both of us were pretty pleased with at the time. Every day I am grateful for that arrangement. Every day I thank my Father in Heaven that I have those kids, and don't have to share them. Every single day is a reminder of the miracles I have witnessed. And I almost never miss any of the worldly possessions I left behind. Almost never...

When I was 15 years old I started collecting Nativity scenes. I love them. I love that there are so many unique ones. I love buying nativities from far off places that had cultural significance. (did you know that a true Mexican nativity portrays Mary's face, and that of the angel exactly the same? Did you know that a true nativity made in Spain has a man pooping hidden somewhere? Did you know that true nativities from Africa won't depict the details of Mary's face at all?) I loved the memories of how I got the nativity, whether as a gift from a dear friend, or on a trip somewhere exciting, or just spotting it in a store and knowing I had to have it. I loved even the one's that were broken because of the story of how it happened. Like my hand painted swiss nativity that Troy and I bought in this crazy antique shop the first time we went to Mexico has the head and wings broken off of the angel because on Ethan's first Christmas with us he wanted to see if it would fly. And the little plastic Precious Moments one has everyone missing their hands because Adia was in a biting stage one year. Those little flaws make them all the more special to me. I loved them.

Unfortunately I didn't get those in the divorce. At first I didn't care. I got my kids, and that is what matters. But as Christmas is sneaking up on me I have started missing them more and more. And the more I miss those things the more I miss all the other things I no longer have. And while I'm sitting there having this little "I wish I had..." pity party, it's easy to forget all of the things I DO have. My life is pretty stinkin' good really. I have blessings coming out of my ears. I am tripping over joy every where I step. I am one lucky girl! So this Christmas I am going to focus on my blessings I am going to revel in the joy that I have. I am going to embrace the life I have and be happy with it. Each day I am going to list one (or sometimes more) thing that I have been blessed with. I am going to call them my joys (hence the darling picture I took from our Christmas tree this morning- which is something I am thankful for that I probably won't mention during my daily joys - my parents let me buy all new Christmas decorations for the tree so that when I move I will have my own Christmas stuff again. I was able to pick out anything I wanted -which is SO not what my parents would have chosen, and not only that, but they let us set it up already - they are totally week-before-Christmas decorators, so this is a HUGE sacrifice for them, and a HUGE joy for me!:)

So, Joy #1 My kids. I am so lucky to have them. Not only is it a miracle that I have them at all, it is a miracle that I have sole custody of them now. I am blessed every day by the things they teach me, and the laughter they bring into my life. I never knew I could love someone so much, but the love I have for them is greater than anything I can even express. They are pretty cool kids actually, and I'm not just saying that because I'm their mom. They rock! They are my joy.