Adoption Story

First of all I have to tell you that I believe in Miracles. I don't think I did before, but now I can't deny them. Troy, and I had decided not to tell our parents that we were looking into adoption until we had already gotten started, so we where looking around for an agency that we liked. We thought we had decided on one, and I was getting ready to send in our paperwork when one Monday morning I had the feeling to tell my mom about it. I called her and told her, and she surprised me by saying that she knew where my baby was. My dad is in the high counsel in their stake back home, and in his meeting the day before, the stake presidency presented them with a strange situation. They had received two memos about children who were up for adoption. They don't usually get info like that, so they didn't know what to do with it, and took the problem to the high counsel to figure out a solution. My dad hadn't paid much attention to the specifics, but he thought it was a little boy, and a baby girl, but my mom said she would set out to track down the info for me. I have to say, my hopes were up. I had dreams of how easy it was going to be. Then, when my mom called with the info, all hopes were dashed. Neither was the baby we were expecting. One was a 13 year old boy with a criminal background, and we knew we weren't at a place in our life to deal with that. The other was a two and a half year old who had been removed from an abusive household for failure to thrive and had been diagnosed with autism, FAS, RAD, ADHD, and developmental delays.That sounded way out of our league too, so we just decided that it wasn't for us, and went back to our original plan. I had decided to turn our paperwork in to the agency the next day, but all that day I just couldn't get the little boy out of my head. I kept thinking about him over and over, and when Troy got home that night I told him I thought maybe we should look into it a little further. His comment was "Are you CRAZY!?!" and he spent the rest of the night thinking of reasons that confirmed that I was, in fact, crazy. But that night the little boy wouldn't stay out of my dreams, so the next day I set out to find solutions to all of the problems he had presented the night before. I found doctors and agencies and schools to help with his special needs, I found out more about DSPD and getting on the waiting list, I owned my own business, and had even figured out what we would have to do in order to afford to bring someone in to help me run it so I could have more time to take the boy to all of his appointments. I had an answer to everything, so when Troy walked in the door that night, before he had even taken off his jacket, I hit him with "The Plan" It took convincing, all night long, but the next morning Troy told me that it was alright to find out more information about the boy, but that we weren't making a decision yet. We were planning on going to visit my parents that weekend, and were going to get the info from my dad, and go to the temple and try to get an answer. That trip was one of the longest in my life. I couldn't wait to get there and get that memo in my hands. When we walked in my mom met us at the door with the memo. I was instantly in tears. I knew it was our son. I could only pray that Troy felt the same way. I won't go into it, but we affectionately call that day in the temple "Heavenly Father beating us over the head with the idea". Miracle after miracle happened making us know for sure that it was right. We left the temple, and called Kyle, the LDSFS social worker who's name was on the memo. When we told him how we found out about Ethan he was shocked. He had only sent the info to other LDSFS offices in California, and had no idea how it had gotten to a little tiny stake in southeastern Utah. I think that's the point when I finally started to realize all of the miracles that were going on. In the course of the week we had received countless miracles from Heavenly Father, telling us that this was going to happen. Kyle told us a little bit about Ethan. He had been taken away from his parents by the state of California (LA County) because he was being severely neglected and abused. He was now in a foster situation with his grandparents. Grandma was quite sick, and unable to care for a child with Ethan's needs, and there were no other family members who could take him in. They had decided to place him for adoption. He had been placed in different homes by LA County, but each time they sent him back saying that he was too much to handle. Finally the court gave the grandparents the right to seek a family for Ethan. They went to LDSFS to get help finding a family. LDSFS had looked into adoptive families for Ethan, but nothing long term had ever worked out. Kyle told us he would send some information about Ethan, and then we could decide if it was right for us. We tried to tell him that we already knew he was our son, but he insisted on sending us the info anyway, he rightly didn't want to place Ethan in another home that wasn't right for him. We agreed, and as we hung up he said that maybe we were only instruments in helping Ethan find his real home. Maybe he wasn't for us, but for someone we knew. -In walks Satan, filling our heads with more doubt. In a few days we did get Kyles info- pages and pages of info from LA County. It put the scary memo to shame. It told of the horrible state Ethan was found in- which I won't go into in detail because even still it haunts my dreams. It told of his diagnosis of several different disorders or disabilities (Although a few contradicted themselves such as Autism and ADHD - You generally can't have both) It told about his current living situations, and the laws that he was living under, being a ward of the state. It was SCARY! It was page after page of scary. We read it all, and when we were done we turned to each other and said, "maybe Kyle was right, we are just helping hands to get him where he needs to go. Surly we can't handle all of this." But then a miracle came in the form of an old family friend/ church leader, and we knew it was right. We called Kyle and told him we were sure, and asked when we could go pick Ethan up. We really were that out of the loop. We thought that was how it worked. He needed a home, we needed him, we could just go pick him up and he would be ours. Kyle asked us to contact the LDSFS in our town in Utah, and fill out our paperwork to get started-we hadn't even done that yet. This was in October. Kyle said that because of the situation he didn't see any reason why we wouldn't have our son for Christmas. Then we went and filled out our paperwork and met with a caseworker. After finding out more about us he decided that this was not the child for us. We had just barely been married for two years, and I was just 21, much too young and naive to deal with these kinds of problems. Like he got the right to determine our life, and what I was capable of handling. But he did, so we went back home and called Kyle. He said he would try to figure something out. He called a little while later and asked, if we had ever had any experience with people who had special needs, specifically those that Ethan had, or if we had ever taken classes in college that studied any of those things. In fact we had. Troy was working as a job coach for people with disabilities, and I was in the middle of earning my degree in education, with an emphasis in Special Ed. Not only that, but we had Kalista, my niece with autism! Not only were we a part of her life, but I had attended autism conferences and seminars, and had even been certified in a few treatments such as Floor Time. That ended up being enough to convince the judge that we would be fit parents. Kalista had helped us. She had been sent to our family as a blessing, to help us all get together. And because Ethan was a ward of the state the judges decision overpowered that or the CW. By that time it was the middle of December, so we still thought we could make our "Family for Christmas" goal. But then some of our paperwork got lost in the mail, and our dreams got pushed back another month. Ethan's birthday was the end of January, and we were told we would definitely have him by then. We were able to make a trip out to California to meet Ethan just after Christmas. We sat in Kyle's office nervously waiting for Ethan and his grandparents to arrive. Suddenly the door banged open and in burst the most beautiful boy we had ever seen. He had beautiful brown eyes and dark curly hair. We could instantly see the signs of FAS, and a few of autism, but we also noticed his smile, which spread across his face as he spotted us. His dimples got deeper and deeper as he came right over to where we were sitting. He climbed upon my lap, looked right at Troy, and said "Hi Dad" We were stunned. He knew, just like we knew, we were a family! We looked excitedly at Kyle who just smiled and said, don't get too excited, he calls everyone that. Oh, well, that was all we needed anyway, and we quickly got to know him. We went to a park and one of us would chase after Ethan while the other would talk with his grandparents. We learned a lot that day. We learned that Ethan was FAST! He was very clumsy and fell down about every fourth step, but he still could run, fall, stand back up, and be running again before you could catch him. He was a tease, and very interested in everything around him. He was also very compassionate, and full of love. We also learned a lot from Ethan's grandparents. We learned about Ethan's family, his parents, and what had lead all of us to that point in our lives, we learned about abuse his parents would do to him such as dropping him on his head, and trying to drown him. We learned how sweet and wonderful the grandparents were, and instantly fell in love with them too. By the end of the trip we were so excited. We could hardly wait.
At a family party a week later we were telling everyone about our great adventure. My great grandma, who I have always been very close to hugged me close and told me how she just knew we would have our family soon, and not to give up hope. Then she said, "I will do anything I can to help you get your babies." Sweet, but we didn't think much of it at the time, I mean, what could a 90 year old woman do to help us have babies? Well, January came, and so did a new job for Troy. It was a job that we had applied for months before, when we didn't know about Ethan. It was in the town where our parents lived and had been a dream of ours for a long time. But the town is a tiny little place in southeastern Utah with a population of three hundred people. Not only was it clear across the state from where we were currently living, but it also had no social workers of any kind. In fact, the closest LDSFS was in New Mexico. We started working with a social worker, Michael, from then on, and it was nice to have someone closer to talk to about everything. The distance made some problems for the adoption, however. LA County didn't understand why we had a social worker in Cedar City, a social worker in California, and then a social worker in New Mexico. They decided that if we couldn't figure out a way to get a social worker in the same general area as us we would not be aloud to adopt Ethan. But, miracles do happen, and we were able to arrange for the CW in New Mexico (Who was only two hours away) to contract with the next closest LDSFS in Richfield Utah (nearly four hours away). He would send our home studies and paperwork to Richfield, they would type it up on their letterhead, and put it in their files and send it to LA County. For some reason that seemed like a better situation to them, so we were back on track. However, the figuring out of everything pushed us back a little farther, and with so many different people being involved, paperwork kept getting lost, so we were falling farther and farther behind. We weren't going to get Ethan by his birthday on the 29th of January. That day was a sad one for us, and it was made worse by the fact that my dear Great grandmother passed away then as well. For the next week I was heartbroken. I was getting discouraged, and missing my Grandma. Then Kyle called me. He told me that I had better sit down. I just knew it was going to be bad news, and I almost told Kyle I just couldn't take anymore. I was tired of being given the run around, I was tired of the emotional roller coaster, and that day was just not a good day for me. If he was calling to give me anymore bad news he could just save it. Then he told me that Ethan's parents had just given birth to a baby girl. The judge didn't want to separate the kids, so he wanted to know if we wanted the baby too. She had been born with alcohol and meth in her blood, and was low birth weight, but other than that seemed to be healthy. I told him that of course we wanted her too, then I hung up the phone, and sat down and cried because I just knew that Troy was going to kill me. After all, it had taken no less than a series of miracles to convince him that we should adopt Ethan. What would he say when I wanted to add a meth baby to the mix? Fortunately, he was as excited as I was, and we set out to make a family of four. Suddenly we realized that Grandma's death, and the baby's birth coincided. It was like, true to her word, when Grandma got to heaven she sent this baby down to us. She really had helped us get our kids. And that is totally like her personality. Things weren't working out the way she wanted them too, so she had to go up there and take care of it herself.
Baby Tabbitha had been placed in a foster home, but not with the grandparents. They knew they couldn't handle both of the kids.We were warned that because we were adding another baby to the mix it was going to take a little bit longer to place them with us, but they assured us it would only be about two weeks. So we set up a nursery for a baby girl. We painted and set up a crib and changing table, and had everything ready for our new baby girl. And then one day we got a call from the LDSFS Social worker in New Mexico. The state appointed attorney who represented the kids had found out that we were "Mormons" (Evidently she didn't realize that "LDS Family Services" and "Mormon social worker" meant the same thing for all of these months) She didn't like Mormons, and thought we were trying to hide the fact that we were Mormon by calling ourselves LDS. She petitioned to the court that we not be granted custody of the kids because of the kinds of religious practices we were a part of. The judge who was over the case thought that families should be kept together, and had been trying every method possable to get the parents to take custody of Ethan again. He had told them that if they would go to counseling and get a job and a home (At that point they were homeless) they could have the kids back. Then the attorney suggested that we not be aloud to take the kids and he jumped right on board with her. At our court date in February it was determined that we would not be getting either child. We were devastated! For days I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't eat or sleep. I took down everything from both kid's rooms and put it in the storage shed. I was truly heartbroken. But, Heavenly Father won't let a silly closed minded attorney stand in the way of His great plan. He blessed Troy and I with an added dose of strength, and blessed the attorney with a life threatening illness which took her off the case:) (No really, I'm sure Heavenly Father doesn't make people sick for other people, but she did get a rare blood disease at a very convenient time for us) Our new attorney pled with the judge to let us get the kids, and finally he agreed that we could get Ethan, but not Tabitha. We were sad, but eventually alright with that. After all, Ethan was the only one we had actually known we were supposed to have. He was our son, and we were told we could expect to pick him up in a couple of weeks. We were so excited! Then the judge remembered that he wanted to keep families together, and said we could have both kids. Again we set up both rooms, and were awaiting placement. Then the parents went to therapy, and the judge decided that he would keep the children in California and give them back to the parents when they completed his terms of rehab. We took down the rooms once again. Then the parents stopped going to therapy, and we were back on to get both kids. We were told that we would get them in two weeks. This was the end of March. Amid all of this we were also dealing with four different social services offices. Messages kept getting lost. Everyone had a different story, so even when we were up we weren't sure, and when we were down, we still had hope. No one was on the same page, and no one could manage to get all of the paperwork they needed. It was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I hadn't gotten a new job when we moved because I thought we would be getting Ethan any time, and the church knew I would have my hands full when Ethan came so I hadn't even been given a calling. All I had to do all day was worry and stress over the kids I may or may not ever have. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family, or I never would have made it through. I really learned to lean on other people, which is something I had always had a hard time with. I also learned the power of priesthood blessings at that time as I had a lot of them, and know I wouldn't have made it through without them. So, our two weeks were almost up, and we were making plans to go to California when all of a sudden the grandmother took a turn for the worst, and Ethan had to be placed somewhere else. It was decided that he would be taken to the home where Tabitha was living for a few more days until placement, and then both kids would come home with us. A few hours later we got a call from Michael from New Mexico. He had just gotten a call telling him that the Foster mother had insisted Ethan be taken from her home. She had said that the entire time the kids were together both had screamed. She said that the baby really upset Ethan, and he kept screaming and thrashing around. The foster mother had finally had enough and called social services. She said she had been doing foster care for 20 years and had never seen anything like it, and recommended that the children be separated. What we didn't know at the time, but found out later was that all of this time the LA County social worker had been telling her that she would be allowed to adopt Tabitha. LA County has such a large amount of foster kids that they often don't have enough homes for them. This lady had decided that she didn't want to do foster care anymore, but she did want to adopt a baby girl. The social worker told her that she could adopt Tabitha so that she would take her. All of this time the foster mother had no idea that we even existed, or that there was a chance she would not be allowed to keep the baby. Then Ethan came into the picture and the truth came out. So a quick judgement was made. We would only be allowed to have Ethan. We could pick him up in "Two more weeks" while he stayed with an aunt in the meantime. But, the kid's family really wanted the kids to stay together, so they requested that we be allowed to adopt both kids anyway. Between them and the hard working attourney the judge agreed to look into it. Again the issue of my age was brought up. I don't have any idea what that has to do with my ability, but aparently it is a determining factor. Luckily, before we moved I owned my own preschool and daycare, and before that I had worked for head start. We had to get letters of reference from all of the parents of the kids I worked with plus all of the teachers I had worked with at headstart talking about my ability to deal with children and problems. We had to get letters of reference from all of the people Troy worked with when he was a job coach, and still it didn't look like it would be enough. But finally after begging and pleading, and jumping through every hoop imaginable, the judge gave permission for us to get the kids. But, we didn't have a date. We figured it would be about "Two more weeks" because that was what they had been telling us since January-it was now the first of May. Then on May 12th Kyle called. He told us to get to California fast! He said that there would be a placement the next day at 8:00am. We would be picking up Ethan then. He didn't know about Tabitha, but we did know that this gave us 18 hours to make the 12 hour drive. We frantically threw clothes in the car, grabbed the carseats, and hit the road. We called our families and Troy's boss from the road. We didn't have a moment to spare. We made the trip only stopping for gas, and arrived in California at 4:00 the next morning. We found the only motel in sight and got the only room available. It was the scariest place we have ever stayed, with bullet holes in the windows and a huge black hair in the shower. We didn't care, we were exhausted. We both showered and layed down, but the anxiety kept us from sleeping. We were waiting for Kyle when he got to his office at 8. He had us sign papers for both kids though he still wasn't sure which kid we were getting. Then we made the trip to the LA County DCFS. We were asked to wait in the lobby while the social worker came out. She was carrying the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. The social worker handed her to Troy and said "Meet Tabitha" Without a word, Kyle grabbed the camera from me and started snapping pictures. (That is something that I will always be grateful for. I didn't realize I even wanted pictures, but now we have our first meeting with our baby girl caught on film, and that is one of the most precious possessions I have.) We looked at her and she smiled. We were instantly in love. We didn't know what had happened with the foster mother who thought that she would be adopting this beautiful baby, but my heart ached for that woman. I knew what it was like to have your dreams of a baby ripped from you, and I was sure she was hurting. Anyway, we signed papers and then headed off to Ethan's Grandparent's house to pick him up. We were getting both kids! The whole family was there to say goodbye to him (With the exception of the parents) We stayed there and heard stories of the family, and looked at photos. The family was wonderful and we loved getting to know them, but we were excited to start our family, and we had a long drive home. Finally we got up the courage to say that it was time to leave. We loaded up the car with all of Ethan's clothes and toys,and then it was time to say goodbye. That was the first day that we had ever thought about what this would be like for the birth family. We had considered our own feelings, and the feelings of the kids, but we had never even thought about the family. They were excited for us, and knew we were the right match for the kids, but still, they were losing their family. How hard. We were all crying, and their hearts were breaking- we knew how that felt. That is one feeling I will never forget, that feeling of mixed emotions. I loved these people, even thought I didn't know them very well, and it was breaking my heart that I was breaking theirs. But at the same time, my every hope and dream was coming true. The thing that I had prayed for since I was just a little girl was finally happening to me - I was a mother. I can't even express the joy that gave me, and the gratitude I had for these beautiful souls who were making it possible. Even still, remembering that day brings tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow to my eyes.
Finally we got into the car and headed out. We waved as we drove away, tears streaming down our cheeks. We traveled a few blocks and then Troy pulled over, We climbed in the back of the car with the kids and kissed their little cheeks. We screamed and shouted, and did the happy dance, and of course I cried a little more. We were thrilled! Our journey had finally begun. We were a family! We got back on the road and started driving. Then we realized that we hadn't called our families all day. We had turned our phones off, and we each had over ten messages from our frantic mothers wondering what was going on. We called everyone with the news that we were now a family of four, and were met with many screams and cheers and tears. Our 12 hour drive ended up being a 23 hour drive home. (We had never traveled with kids before so we didn't know it would take so long.) We hadn't slept in nearly 48 hours, but we were so pumped up we didn't need to sleep. We also wanted to get as far away from California as fast as we could. It was as if when we crossed the state line we would finally be safe, and no one could take our family away from us again. We just drove through the night. As we drove, we talked about Tabitha. She didn't look like a Tabitha. We pulled out the name book and started looking. We both had a list that we liked, but we came across the name Adia, which means "Gift from Heaven" We think she was sent here by my great grandma, so she kind of is a gift from heaven. It just fit, and somewhere in Nevada she went from Tabitha Marie to Adia Bailey. (Bailey was Troy's Grandma's maiden name) We finally got home about 7PM the next night. My mom and sister had put together a party for us with banners and balloons, tons of food, and family and friends to welcome us. When everyone finally left we fell into bed. We made the kids sleep with us that night, and kept waking up over and over to be sure that we were all still there. We were both afraid that we would open our eyes and it would all have been a dream.
So, we were a family. The hardpart was over, right? HA HA HA next came the adjustment period. Life was a nuthouse 24/7! Not only were we adjusting to making a family out of a newlywed couple, but the kids were adjusting to something totally new too. They didn't know us, or each other. They didn't know where they were, and they didn't know where the people who they did know had gone to. All in all though, they did adjust to that part quite well. They were both very friendly kids, and seemed to adjust to the new surroundings and people pretty quickly. We did what we could to make, especially Ethan, feel comfortable. The thing we had been most concerned about was how the kids would react to each other, but as it turns out we needn't have worried. They loved each other from the first second. Ethan was soft and kind to Adia, and she just lit up when she saw him. They instantly had a special bond, and that bond would prove to be a huge help to each other in the future. The part that didn't go so well though, was with Ethan. He was not used to following rules. He would run away from us, jump on furniture, break things for fun, hurt animals, and just generally destroy EVERYTHING. On his first full day in our house, he climbed up in our bookshelf, found our wedding photos and started ripping them to shreds. And that was just in the time it took me to change Adia's diaper. It was exhausting. I could never let him out of my sight, and the only time I got to rest was when both of the kids were asleep. And that leads me to bedtime. Adia was really a pretty good sleeper. She would usually only wake up once during the night, sometimes twice, but she always went right back to sleep after she was fed and changed. Ethan, on the other hand was a completely different story. Some autistic kids just don't sleep much, and Ethan is one of those. He usually only required three to four hours of sleep a night, and a one hour nap during the day. That was alright. I have never required much sleep, so I could probably have handled that fine. The problem came along with the abuse. Ethan would have terrors when he slept. He dreamed of his parents and would scream things like, "don't leave me" or "Don't hit me", and talk about things that they had done to him. He usually wouldn't wake himself up, but it would wake me up, and I spent most of my nights in his bed rubbing his back and crying over the things he was saying. Ethan also had some habits that we had to work around. He had been starved for so long that he was determined not to let that happen again. He would steal food and hide it all over the place. He would stick things in his pocket at the dinner table, and then sneak it into his room and put it under his pillow. He would come out of his room chewing on a carrot stick, and I knew we hadn't had carrots in over a week. It took a little while for us to figure out what was going on, and by that time he had hidden things everywhere in the house. He had put things in plants, under beds, in closets, behind books, in coat pockets, anywhere he could think of. He was also hiding food for Adia. If we didn't put her bottle or formula can away as soon as we were finished with it, it would vanish. He also hid water. Anything he could find that would hold water was filled in the toilet, and hidden somewhere. Once we figured out what was going on and why, we gave him his own shelf in the fridge, and in the pantry that was always stocked with food and water and that helped some, though he still sometimes hides food, and we do a nightly sweep of his room just to be sure he isn't chomping on a crunchy hot dog in a day or two. His therapy was also a hard thing to take care of. There weren't any of those services provided in our town, or even in those towns around us. In order for him to get the help he needed, it meant hours in the car. We also weren't accepted very well by everyone in the community. We were told that if we got the chance to choose our kids, why would we choose broken ones. The primary president didn't want Ethan in primary. The community preschool didn't want Ethan to attend, and said hurtful things behind our backs. Some of our "friends" stopped wanting to hang out. We were told that our kids were trash because they were on drugs. We were ridiculed for our parenting styles because our son was "Out of control, and just needed a couple of good spankings" It was crazy that people would say things like that, especially people who claimed to be our support group. The things that did help were plenty too, though. I had a great support system in my family and close friends, and even most members of the community. I had people offer to take the kids for a few hours while I showered or took a nap or cleaned my house. I had people who would remind me of my blessings and how lucky I was to have the kids, and they were also the people who knew when I just needed to cry, and they let me do that too. We were also really lucky that the kids had each other. In some things they were developing at the same time and helped each other out. Adia crawled by seven months, walked by nine, talked like crazy by a year. She wanted to keep up with Ethan, and wouldn't be left behind. In doing that, it helped Ethan learn to walk better. He was more steady as he moved, and learned his balance better. He learned to take it slower. He also learned to talk more plainly. He learned to say things because she could say them. The fact that he talks as clearly as he does, I think, we owe to her. She also taught him much about compassion, following rules, and having manners. If she learned it, he did too.
As we were adjusting to all of these things and many more, we were also trying to finalize our adoption. We had been told that we had to wait for six months before we could finalize, but we thought that was it. We didn't know that there was no guarantee that we would ever be able to adopt these kids. (We had never been required, or even been told about any adoption classes, so we literally knew NOTHING about the whole process)We were shocked the first time that was brought to our attention. We were also shocked a few months later when we were told that the judge had not even terminated the Parent's rights yet. (We were told that they had done that before the kids were even placed with us.) We were assured that it wouldn't make any difference, and it would happen soon, but still, that put us on edge. We didn't know what to expect. The kids had been with us for three months when the grandparents called up in a panic. The parents had decided that they were ready to be parents and get their life back on track, the judge decided it meant that they really wanted the kids back and gave them another chance to change thier lives. We were overcome with worry that we would lose this little family we had created. I bounced between complete devistation and the need to hold onto and enjoy every second in case it was our last. It was at this point when something totally hit me. All of this time we had been so angry with the parents. We saw what they had done to the kids, what they had done to thier family, themselves, us. It made us so mad. I can't speak for Troy, but I really can say that I hated them. I HATED them, and with every nightmare my son had, I hated them more. But then it hit me, did Heavenly Father hate them? I didn't think so. They are still his children. They made these two beautiful babies who we loved. And at that point I started to pray for them. At first it wasn't much. I simply thanked Heavenly Father for them. Then eventually I worked my way up to asking Him to bless them that they would make the choices to help thier lives turn out the way they were supposed to. It wasn't much, but even that made the situation stop hurting quite as much. But, I never stopped praying for the kid to be ours either. I just finally found enough faith to put it in the Lord's hands. 1 month later the judge ruled that the parents weren't going to change, and finally terminated their rights. We were still dealing with many different social services agencies, and paperwork and messages were still being lost and mixed up. We never knew what was true and what was not. I finally realized that if it was going to happen I would need to help it along. I started calling each agency every day, and would put the pieces together and started figuring out what was true and what was not. I started to realize who I could trust and who I couldn't. I made copies of every piece of paperwork I came in contact with and made a note of who sent it, who had it, and dates and times of everything. It eventually got to the point that the social workers, especially LACounty DCFS (oddly enough) were calling me to see what was happening, instead of the other way around. Then in December, the month that we had hoped to finalize in, we were told that the judge was going to give the parents one more last chance. If they could get their life together, and keep it that way for two months, they could have the kids back. AHHH! We were devistated all over again. We didn't even know that he could do that. (And later we found out that he really shouldn't have) But, all there was to do was wait. We enlisted the help of friends and family members, and had prayers, and a weekly fast that whatever was right would happen. We just waited. And for once, the parents started getting back on track. They cleaned up their act, and kept it that way for a month, then nearly two. We were starting to think that the kids really would go back to them. Then, by a miracle our wonderful attourney convinced the judge to extend the trial period for one more month. At that point, even our little branch was fasting and praying with us. Still the parents were sticking with it. It looked again like we were going to lose our sweet little family. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, for reasons I will probably never know, the judge changed his mind. He ruled that that we could legally adopt the kids. We were finally feeling like we had the end in sight. We had a date set to finalize the end of May. We had learned though, don't bank on anything until you have it in your hands, so we didn't dare book the trip. We were right, as they ended up bumping it back a few weeks until June. Finally in the middle of May we decided to book a flight (No way were we going to drive that trip again:) We also set up a time at the temple to be sealed a week later. But, of course it couldn't be that easy. Our regular LACDCFS case worker got sick and our case was reassigned to another CW. She was new, and for some reason didn't know what to do or something. When I made my daily phone call to her she told me that she didn't have any of the paperwork for the whole case, and unless she could dig it up somewhere, we wouldn't be finaizing on our date. Now, I don't know what she was doing or why, or even if she had the right to stop us from finalizing, and I didn't know what paperwork she specifically needed as she wouldn't tell me, but Heavenly Father tells me stuff, and somewhere along the line I had learned to listen. I had saved and documented every piece of paperwork involved in our case. I even had paperwork I wasn't really supposed to have. I had things from the entire process including the history of the kids before they came to live with us. All total I had over one thousand pieces of paper, and I faxed every single one to her. I also FedExed a copy of everything to her. The next day she called and yelled at me for doing that, but she did tell me that we were on for the 9th of June! We made it to California on the 8th of June, though everything from a car accident to Troy forgetting his wallet tried to stop us. The parents had made threats to take the children back, so we had been assigned a guard to stay with us while we were at the court house in California. We found our motel and settled in for a night of NO sleep. The next morning we went to the children's court. We were supposed to go in at 8am. At 11:30 we finally entered the courtroom. It was an awesome experience as we were sworn in and vowed to love the children as our own. We were able to take a picture with the judge, and both kids were given a stuffed teddy bear and a balloon. We were also able to, for the first time, meet in person, our wonderful attourney and several of the social workers who made our perfect day possible. We all seemed to breath a sigh of relief. I literally felt lighter. I don't know how else to explain it. It was a physical change as all of the worry lifted. I was almost lightheaded. Adia seemed to express what we were all feeling as we left the court room, she blew the judge a kiss. Oh, what a wonderful day! We went back to the motel room and all of us fell asleep. We slept for seven hours, unheard of for Ethan. It was as though we hadn't slept for all of that time and we were catching up. We were able to stay a few days, and visit with the birth family and also with Kyle. We went sight seeing, and to Knotts Berry Farm. It was a much deserved vacation. When we got home we set out to get ready for an even more important day, Temple Day. From the very beginning we had been telling the kids about going to the temple. We had explained what we could about being sealed and how it meant that we would always be a family. Ethan, especially had become fascinated with the temple. He kept asking every day when we could go in. He wanted to go see Heavenly Father and Jesus, and meet Angel Moroni and play his "Doot-da-doo" It was the most exciting day we could imagine. It was the best day ever! Ethan didn't get to meet Moroni or play the "doot-da-doo", but he says he saw Jesus, and I believe him. And that's the end, or the beginning, however you want to look at it. We are a family now, and no one can ever take that away from us. Both kids continue to grow and improve. Ethan especially improves every day. He isn't even the same kid anymore. He still has his struggles, but we have our groove down now, so we are working through it. Adia is a spitfire. She has her own opinion, and you can't change it. She is still her brothers biggest fan, and also his biggest protector. They are best friends. They are truly our family. They even look like us now. Adia has blue eyes and blonde-ish hair like me, and we have exactly the same nose. Ethan has dark brown eyes and light brown hair like Troy, they both have the same high cheek bones and stubborn chin. If you didn't know, you would never be able to tell that they aren't ours. (Or that they are part hispanic) The Grandparents are both still living and though they struggle, they seem to be doing well. The Parents are currently doing very well.
So there you have it. If you made it this far Hooray for you! If you have any questions please feel free to ask.