The lady who yells at us on Sundays...

Every Sunday night we have a ritual. We usually have a big, sit at the table, lunch right after church, so we usually do snacks for dinner that we eat on the couch as we watch some TV. We like reality TV the best. We like to make fun of people and we feed off each other. We are pretty stinkin' hilarious if I do say so myself. I usually end up in tears, and while I've never wet my pants from laughing so hard, I have had a few close calls. I love that about my kids, they are quick and witty and hilarious. (I'm pretty sure they get that from me. HEE HEE:) But that's off subject, let me reign it back in here...
We don't usually put much effort into the snacks, but we like to bake cookies or brownies or cheese sticks or something warm. I don't know what it is, but even if it's brownies, eating something warm makes it a meal instead of junk and that takes away the mom guilt. Don't ask questions, just go with it. Regardless of what you may have heard, I'm not a terrible cook. I'm not going to star in a cooking show any time soon, but I'm not bad. EXCEPT on Sundays. I don't know if I'm too laid back and just not on top of things on Sunday's (the day of rest) or if I shouldn't be cooking so much so I'm getting zapped, or what it is, but without fail I start a fire in the kitchen EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY. I'm not kidding. We have had the dish towel left on the burner fire, the something spilled over in the oven fire, the funnel cake oil fire, the smoked (literally) veggie fire, and last night the adding the soda and vanilla to the caramel sauce at the same time causing a reaction and huge flammable overflow fire, to name a few. The problem is not the fire, I am great under pressure, and I have taken fire safety training when I was trying to adopt the kids, so I know how to keep it under control. The real problem is the lady that lives in the smoke alarm. She totally bugs. She starts out calm and slow, saying "Danger, Fire, Danger, Fire" over and over, but as she goes along she gets faster and more intense and while that might SEEM helpful, it totally isn't. And she's LOUD. Like, Eardrum piercing loud. And she isn't easy to get to shut up either.
 The first time it happened the kids didn't know what was going on and they ran outside and across the street to our designated "safe meeting place" yelling  "Fire! Fire!"(I'm sure the neighbors love us.) But since then we have come up with a system. The fire starts and I get busy shutting that sucker down while Adia grabs the step stool and Ethan grabs the Children's Dictionary of Spanish Words book (It's large, but light weight and gets good air flow without tiring out your arms too quickly - it's a science.) We all meet up under the fire alarm, where Adia has the stool perfectly positioned and Ethan hands over the book. I climb on the stool and go to fanning while the kids open all the windows in the house and turn on all the fans. With any luck the heater kicks on then and helps blow all the smoke out rather quickly. Sometime, when we bring our A game, we can air it out before the lady ever starts yelling at us. Other times we aren't so lucky, but we have improved a lot since we first moved in. I know some of you would  suggest I stop cooking on Sundays, claiming that I am putting my children in danger or being a bad example. But I prefer to think of it as a good thing. It builds unity, helps us learn to work together efficiently, and provides memories that will last a lifetime. AND it reminds us to change the fire alarm batteries regularly and review our fire safety plan while we're at it. Plus, you didn't taste the peaches and cream stuffed french toast smothered in that caramel sauce we made. That makes it all worth it in the end... Yum!

So Long, Old Friend.

Remember the time when the mouse flew out of the car in front of us and splattered on our windshield?

Remember all of the camping trips you took us on?

Remember all of the adventures we went on where we would just pick a spot on the map and go there?

Remember when I was doing photography full time and you hauled my props anywhere I wanted to go without complaining and drove us to all kinds of crazy out of the way locations just to get the perfect shot?

Remember the time when we went to Mexico with our friends and got stopped by that Federale who took our driver's licenses and made us drive out into that abandoned neighborhood where he planned to rob, rape and murder us, and we narrowly escaped with our lives?

Remember that same trip where Ethan got that bag full of "goodies" from the sea and hid them under the driver's seat and we didn't know what the fish smell was for a couple of weeks?

Remember the time when we were driving to Monticello and we hit that dove and it got caught in the grill and we unknowingly drove all the way there with a dead bird flapping on the front?

Remember that time when I was lost in Provo on my way to a Mary Kay appointment and we stopped and asked that guy on a bike for directions. Then after telling us the totally wrong way to go he hopped back on his bike and rode it right into the side of us and left that little dent in the driver's side rear panel?

Remember how I used to swerve off the road just a little to hit prairie dogs, and that one time a cop saw me and pulled us over because he thought I was drinking, but when I tried to explain what I was really doing he threatened to ticket me and take me to jail for killing an endangered species?

Remember the time Ethan somehow opened his door while we were driving down the freeway and I had to use my go-go-gadget arm to hold him from falling out as I manuvered across 4 lanes of rush hour traffic to pull over and lock him back in?

Remember when my whole world fell apart and I cried the entire time as you carried me all the way home where it was safe?

Remember when we first moved to the city and I would get so stressed when we would drive during rush hour that I would get really dizzy and have major headaches, and it took me a good couple of months to realize it was because I was holding my breath?

Remember all of the Girl's Night Adventures you took me on?

Remember the time the cop pulled us over and after seeing the Mary Kay sticker on the back he told Troy his makeup looked "FABULOUS!" (That's super funnier now:)

Remember the time we tired to give food to that homeless man and he threw a loaf of bread at you?

Remember the time Gary Thornbaum  ran into us with his truck and then drove away without giving us any insurance info?

Remember the time we broke down in Salina Canyon with no cell service and four wild kids in the back?

Remember the time Ethan got flip-flops and tripped on them, ran into you, and put that little dent in your  side?

Remember the time we were driving in the snow and hit that patch of ice and spun out of control into that oncoming Semi-truck, who couldn't stop because of the ice himself, and just at the moment I thought we were goners you got traction and got us out of the way?

Remember the time Ethan heard the "I'm to sexy" song on the radio and would NOT stop singing it and almost caused me to intentionally run off the road?

Remember the 160 THOUSAND miles we traveled together?

So long old friend. We have been through a lot together. You have been loyal and trustworthy, and I hate to see you go...

No this isn't my EXACT car, I'm not one of those creepy people who takes pictures of their car, so this is the best I could do. Source

...but you are getting old and you cost too much for gas, so I had to trade you in for someone younger and more fuel efficient. We both knew it was time to let go, but always know you will be remembered fondly. :)