Working Hard

Today Adia wanted to invite a friend over. I told her that she needed to get her room cleaned first, so she set out to do it. And she did a good job. She worked hard for almost an hour before coming up stairs and colapsing on the living room couch. "Mom, I'm EXHAUSTED! I just cleaned my A off."
"You What?!?"
"I worked super hard, and cleaned my A off."
After further investigation I found out that she had written her name on her door. She tried to wash it off, but after scrubbing and scrubbing all she could get off was the A. She couldn't say that she cleaned her name off of the door, but she could say that she cleaned her A off...

Hero of the week...A day late, I know...

This week's hero might sound silly, but believe me, she saved my life! On Sunday Troy had to go to St. George early, so we took separate cars so he could run home and change and get on the road right after church. That left me to track down both kids and get them home by myself. That might not sound like a hard job, but primary ALWAYS gets out about five minutes before any other class, so by the time I get out of my class all of the kids in the whole ward are running wild throughout the church. I easily found Ethan, and the two of us looked around for Adia. We looked...and looked...and looked...and couldn't find her. We searched in every single room. We even split up in case we just kept missing her (a risky choice, I know, but I was getting desperate) We had been looking for about 15 minutes, and I was getting frantic. You know how overprotective I am anyway, and we are also very worried about kidnapping because of our adoption situation, so you can imagine how my mind was going crazy with possibilities. I was nearly in tears. Finally sister Johnson, came out of the chapel, holding Adia's hand. She told me that she had been in choir practice and she saw Adia in the back of the chapel. She was peeking out the door, and then she would dive down under the bench. In a few minutes she would pop back up, laughing and seeming very proud of herself. After several times of this happening Sister Johnson caught on to what was happening. She went and asked Adia what was going on and Adia told her that she was hiding from her mom. Each time she would see me coming she would dive under the bench and hide. It was "so much fun, and way sneaky!" Sister Johnson saved the day by taking Adia by the hand and convincing her that they better go find me. Without her help I'm sure I would have had a crying screaming come-apart right in the foyer of the church - I was close as it was. So thanks to Sister Johnson, my hero of the week.

Mom is a GOOD cook!

We really don't eat white rice at our house. We eat brown rice a LOT, but white, not so much. We haven't eaten it for the entire time I have been married, I can count on one hand the times I have made white rice in my life. But tonight I was making sweet and sour chicken for dinner, and we were out of brown rice. I didn't want to run to the store just for that, and considered eating it without rice, but then I remembered our food storage! Yay for food storage! (Yes I know that food storage is supposed to be made up on things that you DO eat, but in fairness, I didn't buy it) We had been given a bag of white rice a long time ago, and decided to save it for an emergency, so dinner was saved, or so I thought. Here's a fun fact you might not know, it takes a LOT longer to cook white rice than it does to cook brown rice. I stuck it in my rice cooker along with herbs, egg, and garlic and stuck it in the microwave for the same time I usually do. I took it out and it was like I hadn't even cooked it. So I decided to read the instructions on the bag (brilliant, I know) So I followed them, and it still was a little crunchy, so in desperation I threw it back in the microwave, turned it on for 10 minutes, and the result was one giant lump of dried stuck together rice. Yum! By this time though the rest of dinner was finished and getting colder by the second, so I tossed the rice cooker on the table, (It nearly broke a hole through the table top) and called the kids up for dinner. I chiseled a chunk out for each of us and we started eating. I just knew that it wasn't going to go over well with the kids, but at some point dinner is just ready whether anyone enjoys it or not. I was shocked, they LOVED the rice. They asked for seconds, and even thirds! They couldn't get enough of it. Adia kept saying "mom I love these rocks you made! They are the best thing you ever made!" (that makes me sound like a REALLY good cook, I know. Do you feel a little sorry for my family?) So anyway, if you ever get hungry for a nice hunk of rice (Or rock, as it's known around here) let me know, I will break back into the food storage.

A Package

Our Grandma Helen is the best! She sends us packages of all of our favorite things just because. It is so exciting to get a package from her. We love you Grandma Helen! Thanks!

I looked out the window and what did I see? Popcorn kernels on my Apricot tree!

But that was yesterday... This was the view this morning when I woke up... Yup, it's spring alright!

Nobody likes me everybody hates me I guess I'll go eat worms...

Yesterday Ethan came home, and as soon as he got of the bus he was telling me all about a worm he found at lunch recess. It was huge and fat and slimy. It was so exciting! He needed to put it in it's new home. Great, I love a good worm story, but he wouldn't let it go. He kept telling me that he needed to put it in his new home over and over. He also seemed really hungry because he kept wanting to get in his lunch box. I couldn't figure it out I kept giving him snacks, but he kept wanting what was in his lunch box. I totally didn't make a connection between the two things. Finally I put the lunch box away so he couldn't see it, and he seemed to forget about it. Then after the kids had gone to bed I was washing dishes and getting the kitchen cleaned up. I opened Ethan's lunch box to wash it, and there right in the bottom was a huge, fat, slimy, (slightly squished) worm. Apparently the new home was OUR home. I asked him about it the next morning and he told me that he found it and he needed to put it in it's new home, so he sneaked it in his pocket during school, and then on the bus he took it out, but it looked a little smaller (because it had been smashed from his pocket, I'm sure) so he put it in his lunch box so it could get something to eat and grow bigger again. That's where I found it. We had a long talk about leaving worms where they belong, but who knows if that will help. So if any one's hungry come on by and we'll dig through Ethan's lunch box, maybe this time we will find a snake, or a grasshopper or something.

Hero of the week...

*Many of you noticed that last week the "hero of the week" post was missing. I had one ready and thought that I had posted it, but then things started happening, such as the transmission in Troy's truck going out and Ethan being sent home from school for bad behavior and I just never checked on it until a few of you sent e-mails asking about it. By the time I realized that I never posted it I just decided to save it until this week, so here we go.
Well, some of you might have guessed it, but this weeks hero is my mom. She is literally a life saver. Last week we were SO SICK! We had been sick on and off since January, and every time we thought we were about to kick it we would get it again. But last week we REALLY got it. I lost my voice, something that NEVER happens to me, we had terrible coughs, we had really high fevers, our noses were running like faucets, and our bodies were achy. Finally after a really long day and a longer night I decided to go home and get taken care of by my mom. My mom is the BEST when you are sick. She takes such good care of you, fixes you whatever you want to eat, sees to any silly request you might have, and talks to you with such compassion, you can tell she is really worried and sorry that you aren't feeling well. As soon as we got to her house (which was a process, three sick babies-one being me-in a six hour car ride is no picnic I tell you) she got the kids settled with snacks and a movie in the living room and let me go into my room and sleep - which I did for four hours strait without even moving. She took care of the kids for me the whole time, so that I could get the rest I needed. Then that night she stayed up with the kids all night so I could get more sleep. Then that night when I had a fever of 104 and was shaking with cold chills so much I couldn't get up she came in and took care of me. She let me sleep the entire next day too. I really wasn't a great mom that week. I let my mom take care of the kids the entire time, and she did a great job at it. By the end of the second day, when I finally woke up after nine hours of sleep Ethan was all better, and Adia was almost there too. By late the next afternoon even I was feeling much better. She really was a true life saver to our family, and that is what makes her the hero of the week.

Here is what makes her the hero of my life: She is one of my very best friends. I really wouldn't make it through the day without her. When we lived in La Sal just a few miles from her we went to her house every. single. day. When we moved away, she was the one I knew I would miss the very most, I even wondered if I could be a mom without her help. We are doing alright, but I do talk to her at least once every day! She helps me with every single problem I have. Even if she can't really do anything to fix things for me, I can usually figure things out after a few minutes of talking to her, and if nothing else I always feel better. I remember when we were trying to adopt our kids, I know she spent hours on her knees praying for us. She was the first one to rush over when we would be told we couldn't get the kids, and the one who jumped around with me like a crazy person when we were told that we could go pick them up. She is the person that I know I can vent to no matter if I'm right or wrong she just listens and then when I'm all finished she gently reminds me of the things I already know. We also call ourselves "partners in crime". The pickles we get into together, you would be shocked. There have been countless times that we have had to figure a way out of a predicament we have gotten ourselves into, but one thing for sure, I know I can handle anything with her by my side. She also really loves me. It doesn't matter what I do, or how much I screw things up, she loves me just the same, sometimes even more at those times. She has taught me everything I know, from how to cook and clean to how to love and forgive. She is a great example of the kind of person I want to be. She shows through example how to live. She makes the very best rolls in the whole entire world. Really, they are the best. Sometimes when I get really homesick I dream about them, Yum! She is also the very best grandma ever. My kids love her so much because she is so much fun. Adia loves her so much that every time we come home from her house she cries the ENTIRE 6 hour drive. She takes them on adventures, and lets them do things that I never have the patience to try. And she sends them packages in the mail just because. I could go on and on, but the point is my mom is the greatest. She is my hero, not only for the week, but forever.

Toes

Ethan has been having some head banging issues lately. Last night he had a little problem with that and it resulted in a giant goose-egg on his forehead, so this afternoon, after school we were talking about taking care of your body. We talked about how Heavenly Father gave us our bodies, and he loves us, so we need to take care of our bodies to show him that we appreciate them. Adia chimed in with "I take care of my whole body because I appreciate every part... except for toes, they're gross!" I agree Adia, I agree.

Birth Families

So let's talk about birth moms. A lot of times they get a bad rap. It is often thought that they are selfish or heartless because they "gave up" their baby. I will admit that sometimes that is the case. Every once in a while there is a not so great birth mom who doesn't have the child's best interest at heart, but that is very rarely the case. In most cases choosing to place their baby (NOT "give away" or "give up", hearing that grates at my heart the way fingernails on the chalkboard grate on my eardrums) is the very most SELFLESS choice that could be made. Literally I am in awe of the sacrifice they are willing to make. With all of the options that are available (and legal) now to make the choice to go through with the pregnancy, take care of herself and her baby for nine months, have all of those feelings and attachments, and then after all of that choose to give their baby a life that they couldn't give it themselves. Wow, can you imagine how much strength and compassion and love that would take? My Birth Mother situation is quite different. I am not in contact with her, she didn't choose me to be the mother of her children, she didn't choose to place her children at all, the choice was made for her. I do however have a birth FAMILY who did all of those things. Ethan and Adia's grandparents chose to let us into their lives and give us the gift that changed our lives forever. We love them so much! We owe our entire family to them, and the selfless choices they have made. We appreciate the sacrifice they were willing to make. I cry all the time thinking about how much I owe them. They are truly wonderful people.




So, now that you know my feelings on birth families let me tell you a couple of things. First, there was a really good article in the Ensign (a magazine that my church puts out each month) giving the adoption story from the views that you don't always here about, that of the birth mother, birth father, birth grandparents, and adopted child. It is really interesting and touching, and it puts things into a new perspective that you don't always consider. Anyway, you can check it out HERE.

Next, you may have noticed that I added a cute little button to my sidebar a few days ago, and I want to tell you a little bit about it. There is a blog that I LOVE called The R House. Mrs. R talks a lot about adoption there, and is really an awesome lady, and a huge inspiration to me. She came up with this really great idea. She has a panel of birth moms that she asks questions to (you are welcome to post questions that you have, and she will add them to the list) and the birth moms answer them. Each of the birth moms on the panel have a different story, so their answers come from a different point of view. It is really interesting. It is a reoccurring segment, so a lot of different things will be covered over the next while. This segment deals with open adoption. You can click on the button on my sidebar and it will take you to all of the posts that deal with the "ask a birth mom" segment. Scroll down an you can see bios on all the birth moms. Anyway, it is an excellent way to share knowledge and spread awareness, and I thought I would share the opportunity with all of you. Check it out and enjoy, and thanks Mrs. R and the birth moms!

Spring is in the air.

Yes, it's true, after coming home to 14 inches of snow last week it is finally spring. The snow is gone, the weather is warm and the grill has been broken in for the year. I love this time of year. We had so much fun playing outside on Saturday. It was even warm enough for the neighborhood kids to venture out, and even though I complain about it when they are at our house every hour of every single day, I have to admit it was fun to hear their little voices, and way fun to have my kids outside playing with them. It was so nice to take a leisurely walk after dinner, and not have to bundle the kids up in snow suits to go. It was great to make my favorite foods on the grill -yummy kabobs, and potato skins. I loved being able to spend time in the sun shine with my family - No, not enough time to get any color, it's spring, we didn't get crazy or anything! All in all, it was just a fun weekend. Fun to enjoy the spring.
It's supposed to snow again tonight... Welcome to spring in Utah...

Ethan's too sexy...

We are home now, we are better, for the most part, (thanks Mom and Dad!) and we are back to life as usual,- enter a story about my child saying something I wish he wouldn't/me showing my super-good parenting skills.


My parents live in a little tiny town literally in the middle of nowhere. Really, there is not much there. That includes radio stations. Sometimes there isn't a choice, you listen to whatever one comes in and you like it. So that is what we were doing. We got kinda lucky, and for a while we got this fun station with "today's hits and yesterday's favorites". It had a lot more of yesterday's favorites then anything, but most of them really were favorites, so we cranked it up and sang along. Remember that song "I'm too sexy"? The one where the guy is too sexy for his shirt, his car, the song, and a vast array of other things? Well, that song came on. I hadn't heard that song for AGES probably since like second grade when it came out. I thought that the kids were both asleep until Ethan spoke up and said "mom, this guy is too sexy for everything!" Then he started singing. "I'm to sexy for my shirt, too sexy for this car seat, too sexy for this blanket..." And you know how that song gets stuck in your head? So all day long he was singing "I'm too sexy for this sandwich, too sexy for this apple sauce, too sexy for this juice." Then we went shopping and he was "too sexy for this shopping cart, too sexy for the laundry soap, too sexy for the toothpaste." And don't forget the "I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk. On the catwalk, on the catwalk..." And it didn't end, all day long it was over and over again, "I'm too sexy for these jammies, too sexy for a bubble bath, too sexy for a bedtime" Even at two o-clock in the morning "I'm too sexy to sleep all night, too sexy to be quiet, too sexy to stop singing" He doesn't know what sexy means, so I'm sure he doesn't know who inappropriate it is to keep singing it over and over. I am really sorry that I ever exposed him to that song. I am just praying that he isn't singing it all day at school, though even as I write that I know it isn't realistic to believe that. Anyway,not really a point to this story, just thought I would share anyway.

Hero of the week...

Let me start this weeks hero edition off with a little back ground on my family, mostly me. I am probably the most over-protective mother in the world. It's true, I'm out there. I've accepted it, so have my kids, don't try to get me to change, or convince me of the error of my ways, it won't work, move on. Anyway, I don't really let people watch my kids much. I mean, if it is for an hour or two I will hire a babysitter. If it's longer than that my mom watches them, if she can't I usually take them with me, or just miss out. And it isn't just that, even if I do trust someone completely I start worrying about inconveniencing them, or about my kids being totally out of control or something, so I just don't ask anyone. Anyway, this isn't always an easy thing, especially since I moved away from our family, it usually means that I have to miss out on things that I really want to do. Usually it is easy to get over, but every once in a while it hurts. Last Wednesday was shaping up to be one of those days. I am a Young Women's leader in our ward, and we were taking the girls to the Draper Temple open house. I so wanted to go, but I didn't have anyone to watch the kids while I went, and because of liability rules of our ward I couldn't take the kids with us. Then I remembered my friend Melissa. We have been friends for a long time, we met when I was the day care provider for her kids, and we developed a friendship. Her family has been there through all of our "hard stuff" over the last four and a half years, and now we are blessed to live near each other again, and get to see each other fairly often. Over the last year or so I have watched her three darling girls a few times like during soft ball tournaments, doing volunteer work, and just recently cute little Hannah stayed six days with us. Each time Melissa tells me that she owes me big, and even went so far as to print up tickets good for hours of babysitting. I really had no intention of actually cashing in, but I really wanted to go to the temple, so I got up the courage and asked Melissa. Not only did she agree to do it, she said she would be EXCITED to do it, and she actually sounded like she was, so I felt pretty good about it. Then the day before I was going to take the kids to her house she called to ask some questions about Ethan's special diet so she would be sure to have stuff that he could eat, and she could put away the stuff that he couldn't. WHAT!?! She remembered that Ethan has a diet, and not only that, but wanted to follow it! Then I took the kids to her house. They were there for a LONG time, like eight hours. When I went to get them Melissa was still my friend! Ethan had been his usual self, but Melissa had stuck to the rules. She stuck to the rules of our behavior plan, she stuck to the discipline rules, she had stuck with it even when he was trying to push her buttons, and she had enforced the diet even when he tried to sneak other food every chance he got. And how did she know what to do? It wasn't because I had given her a nine page list of instructions (I had written one, but I forgot it at home:) She listens to me when I talk about Ethan! She listens when I talk about his struggles and his triumphs. She listens to me when we try something new. She listens when we find things that work and when we find things that don't work. Why does she listen? Because she is a good friend, and good friends care about what is important to their friends, whether or not they would ordinarily care about it, whether or not they understand it, or whether or not they agree with it.

You have no idea how much it meant to me to be able to go with my young women and not have to worry about my kids. I never get to do things like that. It was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me for a really long time, like really, I still tear up when I think about it. So thanks to Melissa, my Hero of the week, (She's not only a hero because of this, but maybe I will tell you more about her another time:) And thanks to the whole Skinner family, for being so accepting of our family. And thanks to good friends, I have been blessed with so many good friends, and appreciate each one of you for everything you do.

A Conversation and a Conclusion

Kids screaming, and run into the room where mom is sprawled across the bed like yesterday's drunk.
Adia "I HAD TO DO IT!"
Mom: "Had to do what?"
Ethan: "Had to hit me like a not nice girl!"
Adia: ""Yeah because I had too."
Mom: "Why did you have to hit Ethan?"
Adia; "because you told me to get my shoes on and so I was but Ethan was faster, and that made me mad, so I was mad and putting on my shoes and Ethan tried to help me, but I don't NEED help because I can do it ALL BY MYSELF so I yelled at him so he said 'so FINE' and so I HAD to hit him and bite just a little bit!"
Mom: "Kids, go down stairs and fight soft so Momma's head doesn't explode."
Conclusion: None of us are on top of our game, we are grouchy, we are sick, we are going to visit Grandma so she can take care of us until either we get better or die. (it's a toss us which we are voting for right now) We'll keep you posted.

Not quite spring but...

All of our friends from around the country, and even from other places in the state have been talking about what nice weather they are having, how the sun is out, the temperatures are up, and spring is peeking out. This is NOT the case for us in our little corner of the world. Every day this past week has been cloudy, windy and cool. Finally I got jealous and figured that even if it isn't quite spring I wasn't going to let that hold us back. We dressed up in snow suites, pulled out the stroller and bikes, fixed up a lunch and went to the park! It was so nice to get out in the crisp fresh air. We had a lot of fun and kept pretty warm with all of the playing we did. It was a good change from being cooped up inside all winter.

The Best Part...

For me anyway:)

Make Overs!

We had a little friend, Hannah stay with us over the last week, so if you see her in pictures in my next few posts, that's why. She and Adia are both make-up, dress-up, and show-off, kinda girls. That made for some fun fashion shows and make overs throughout the week. The trouble was that Hannah isn't much for getting her picture taken. Just as I would go to snap she would move or look away. But still, I got some cuties, Enjoy... Oh, and be sure to notice the FABULOUS makeup job they did! Good thing both of their mothers are Mary Kay Consultants:)

Observation Week

This week was observation week for Adia's dance class. She did great. We got to see the new things they are working on, and the progress that the whole class has made. We also got a sneak peek at their part in Swan Lake that they will be performing for the spring recital. I was actually really impressed. Adia has quite a talent for dancing. She has good rhythm, and is pretty graceful for a four year old.:) Anyway, enjoy the pictures of our little dancer.

Hero of the week...

*Let me begin this post by mentioning that the hero of the week won't always be someone who was a hero to me. I just want to celebrate heroes in general. This week is my personal hero, as was last week, but I have a few random heroes to tell you about too. If you have a hero you who's story you would like to share, by all means e-mail me with your story. kt123_us@yahoo.com

Well this edition of Hero of the week was found in a strange place, the nearby social security office. I don't know how many of you have spent much time there, but usually it is a pain with a lot of waiting, a lot of grouchy people, and a lot of stress. Well, that's where I found myself last Friday and this time was no exception. I had been working toward this visit for a long time, almost three years, in fact. It all started after we finalized our adoption. We waited and waited to get the kids amended birth certificates. Those are more important than you might think when you have changed your name. You need it in order to be able to get a social security number. You need a social security number to file for taxes, you can see how this might snowball... Anyway, about nine months after we finalized we still hadn't seen the birth certificates. We called LA County DCFS - No Help (Shocker) We called the county recorder, and they had never been filed. We were getting worried that our adoption never legally got finalized, so we called our lawyers who then tracked down the information for us. We were legally finalized, and we were to expect our birth certificates in a few weeks. (This sounds pretty simple, but it actually required dozens of phone calls, and several months. ) So sure enough, in about two months we finally got Ethan's birth certificate, but not Adia's. we waited and waited and finally had to just get a tax id # for Adia so we could file our taxes. So all this time, for two more years I have been working, calling, researching, to get Adia's birth certificate. Finally, with tax season here, and Adia's temporary id # no longer valid, I was stressing. After talking to a friend who used to work for Social Security I learned that there are other things that can prove identity and if you have enough of them they will work in place of a birth certificate. Easy right, nope, as with everything else, it couldn't work that simply. One of those things could be a religious record, such as a blessing certificate- except, our bishop at the time thought it was a joke to bless kids as old as ours, so while he did allow us to do it (not at church, but at our home) he didn't ever file it in the church records or give us a certificate. Our bishop now was able to put in the info and get us a certificate, but then we had to send it to my mom who had to track down the old bishop and ask him to sign it and send it back. We also needed our adoption order, which we did have, but it needed to be signed by the judge, list the old name and new name, and be notarized by the court. Well, the problem was that the page that was notarized didn't list both names, and the page that listed both names wasn't notarized. So that is where I was on Friday, after making it through security (my belt buckle, and something inside of my shoes kept setting off the alarm)and finding the social security office, getting my number, sitting for three hours in a crowded waiting room full of people who where mad about being there, and yelling at the people behind the counter (one guy even had to be asked to leave by the security guard) it was finally my turn. I took my envelope full of documents that weren't quite what I needed hoping that if I had enough of them I could do what I went there to do, and I walked to the "next available window". I told the lady my story, and showed her my pile of papers. She went through each thing stating why it wouldn't work. I was getting worried, and I think she could see that because she kept defending her position saying, that she didn't make the rules, but it was her job to keep them. I kept replying that I totally understood. I knew this would be a possibility before I even came, so while I was disappointed, I wasn't expecting much more than I was getting. Finally she got to the adoption order and said "Okay, now this is something I can use." But then she saw what had happened, and I could see it in her eyes, it wouldn't work. She kept flipping from page to page is if that would help the two combine or something. She was quiet for a long time, and then she said, "I think you are just going to have to drive to LA and get the birth certificate." I knew that might be the only option, so I started to gather my things and said. "Okay, Thank you so much for your time." She looked right at me and said "Oh, honey, you really have been through a lot haven't you?" Then she told me that she was just kidding. She really shouldn't accept what I had, but because I was the only person to not yell at her the entire day, and she could see that it was someone else's mistake, not my own, so she was going to okay it and give me Adia's SS#!!! Yay! She also said "Never underestimate the power of a smile"It was something that she really shouldn't have done, but she could see that I had done all I was able to do, and I just needed a little bit more, so she was willing to do it for me. Hurray for SSA Worker in Window A, my hero of the week! And Hurray for the lesson she taught me... Smiles can be powerful.