So, a lot of things have changed for us in just a short amount of time. It's been a wild ride, and promises to continue in the same fashion for a while. This blog is going to be a little bit different than our old blog. It will still have the same crazy adventures, and stories of all of us trying to grow up, but it is also a place for me to heal a little, so there will be some thoughtful posts too. In this I would love feedback and any thoughts you might have on the subject too,whether your opinions agree with mine of not.(I like a little debate now and then:) Just remember this is my blog and my pain, and my healing process. I am giving you access to it, but I also reserve the right to delete mean comments:) Keep it clean and kind people:)
A lot of people were caught off guard at the sudden announcement that Troy and I were getting a divorce. I will tell you no one was more shocked than myself. I won't go into the reasons behind that decision. I will only say that poor decisions were made, our lives were changed beyond fixing, and in the end it was the only decision that would work for us. I realize that it isn't the option for everyone, and many of you probably have opinions one way or the other. Just know that because of the way things worked out, the smooth transition that was made, the fact that the divorce was final in less than two weeks as apposed to the normal 90 days, and the feeling of peace that I and my kids have had through the entire thing we know it was the right thing for us. Not the easy thing, no, but the right thing.
I have learned a lot through this process. Some of it might help you, most of it won't, but "it's my blog and I'll write if I want to..."
1.I learned that I am stronger than I think I am. (Ha, ha, on a side note I have to tell you that originally I mistakingly wrote "stranger" not "stronger" I didn't catch it until I was just about to post it. Both are true, of course, but the point that we are discussing today is strength:)
2. I learned that lives can change in a matter of moments, so cherish the life you have now.
3. I learned what the inside of a psych ward looks like.
4. I learned that I never want to be a patient in a psych ward.
5. I learned that even though a person might be in a position of power it doesn't make them right all the time.
6. I learned to trust my own instincts and not doubt the advice I give myself.(Except when it comes to dating-see #8:)
7. I learned that sometimes weird dreams are actually Gods way of preparing you for a situation you will soon be in.
8. I learned that an easy place to find a date is the mandatory (for parents in Utah) divorce education and orientation class. *note, I didn't say it was a GOOD place, I said it was an EASY place. I think it might actually be one of the WORST places to look, but if you just want a good time, that's the place to find it.
a. I learned that if you are at the divorce education and orientation class and someone of the opposite sex who is in a similar situation as you are (read: has children with special needs, and is worried about how they will handle the situation) asks for your number so that you can "talk about your children's behaviors and how best to help them", they aren't always asking because they really want to "talk about your children". So DON'T give them your number, agree to meet them in person, or get in a position where you have to dodge a kiss unless you actually want to be on a date.
b. I learned that I am not smart enough to be in the dating world yet:)
9. I learned that when I feel really alone, I am never really alone. I have God who loves me, and friends who are willing to drive for 5 hours just to give me a hug if I really need it, or who drive by my house at all hours of the day and night to make sure that "everything looks safe" or who cry with me (or for me if I can't yet cry myself), or who remind me of the things that I already knew but forgot, or who put aside their own pain and sorrow in order to come and comfort me.
10. I learned to never give someone a self-help book if
a. You have never read it yourself
b. You have never been in the situation yourself, or
c. It is entitled something cheesy like "learning to smile again"
11. I learned that the saying "sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you" is a crock of you-know-what. Names do hurt. Judgements hurt. Ignorance hurts. But when faced with that you have a few choices. You can let it keep hurting, you can hurt back, or you can dry your tears, break out the bandaids and keep living.
12. I learned to be more aware of the power of words. They have the ability to tear down or build up depending on how you use them.
13. I learned that gossip can't break me. The people who matter already know the truth, or aren't afraid to ask and find out.
14. I learned that every negative has a positive, you just have to search a little to find it sometimes.
15. I learned that some days you" just gotta dance."
16. I learned that my kids are awesome. They are strong and brave, and truly hilarious!
17. I learned that you can't control other people's choices and life isn't always fair, but when your life gets re-arranged by someone else you can build a whole new life that's different, but just as good as the old one.
18. I learned that the person who SAYS the most isn't necessarily the one who TALKS the most.
19. I learned that mostly yelling doesn't make you right, it just makes you wrong at the top of your voice.
20. I learned that it's alright to laugh when you get in a hard situation. In fact, it's encouraged.
21. I learned that agency isn't free. Exercising agency sometimes costs a lot.
22. I learned that through the atonement Christ suffered for us. He felt our every pain. That doesn't just mean the pain we suffer because of our sins, but every pain we experience. It's alright to feel that pain, and work through it, but in the end, he has already suffered it, so it's also alright to let go of it.
23. I not only learned, but now TRUST that there is a plan for everything.
24. I learned that often Heavenly Father sends you just the right person to say or do just the right thing at just the right moment.
25. I learned that a true friend can be found in the strangest places.
26. I learned that sometimes when bad things happen it's because you are super lucky, and you are being saved from something worse.
27. The
mentos and coke theory actually works.
28. It doesn't matter what life has handed you, if you want it enough to work at it, you can make
all of your dreams come true.
Anyway, those are just a few of the thoughts I had rolling around in here. I hope they made sense. If not come back again in a few days, and things won't be quite so serious.
