To Ethan on Your 7th Birthday...

Happy Birthday To Ethan!

I can't believe that you are already seven! You are growing so much. Every day I am amazed by the wonderful person you are. I Love you so much. On the day you were born, I didn't know you yet, but my heart already loved you. Even though I had no idea who you were, or that we would ever meet, that day was special to me. I wrote in my journal that day: "This is the best day ever, and I don't even know why. Nothing particularly great happened, that I know of, but I have been so happy all day. I have this crazy excitement all around me, that almost makes me want to giggle. I don't know what it is, but even my crazy roommates, that hideous paper I am writing for Humanities, and the yucky weather hasn't dampened my spirits today. Not sure of the reason, but I'm definitely not complaining."

I didn't know at the time, but that happiness was from you. It was you that was making me so excited, my baby boy was born. It took three more years for us to meet, and they were hard years for both of us. But we made it through, and I can still remember the very first time I saw you in real life. I instantly loved you. I wanted to run over to you and squeeze your guts out, but I didn't. It was like just seeing you gave me the missing piece of my heart, and I had never been so happy. We played at the park that day for hours. Daddy and I took turns chasing you around, and playing with you. We were amazed at how sweet you were. We had so much fun! We didn't want to leave you, but we had to. It would be four more months before we would be able to take you home with us, but finally we did, and you have made our life an adventure ever since. Now I am going to give you the "Birthday List"

SEVEN reasons Mom LOVES Ethan!

1. You give the very tightest hugs in the whole world. You love to SQUEEZE me, and I know that you love me.

2. You have a great memory. You remember things forever.

3. You love to write. That is something that we have in common, and I love that we share something so special.

4. You are the very best story teller! You remember every single detail, you do voices, and your eyes have so much emotion in them I can't help but feel exactly what you are feeling. I especially love the funny stories because you laugh so hard you make me laugh even before I have heard the funny part.

5. You are a very fast learner. You love to learn new things, and you catch on really fast. Sometimes it frustrates you when your body can't keep up with your mind, but keep trying, you have a special gift.

6. You are very friendly. You can make everyone feel welcome in no time. You have so many friends because every where we go you make new ones. Everyone knows who you are. Every time I go somewhere, people say, "Oh, you're Ethan's mom" because they know exactly who you are. It makes me proud to be able to say that I am your mom.

7. You make my dreams come true. I wanted to be a mom for my whole life, and you made that happen when you became my first child. It took a lot of work for us to become a family, and I know you had the hardest job of all. It would have been really easy for you to give up, and I love you so much for being strong, and making it through until we could find each other.

So happy birthday my little man. I love you so much! Thanks for being part of my life. I hope you have the best day ever!

To Adia on Your 4th Birthday...

Happy birthday pretty lady! I am excited that you are four. You are growing like crazy. I can hardly believe that this grown up little girl is my baby. I remember the first time we met. You were three months old. The social worker brought you out and handed you to Daddy, and my heart was yours. You were so beautiful. You had pretty blue eyes, and the biggest smile I had ever seen. I couldn't wait to hold you and love on you. The whole ride home from California I kept peeking back at you in your seat. Every time you saw me you would smile so big, and it would make me cry tears of joy. I still do that sometimes. I will see what a beautiful girl you are and it makes me so happy I cry. Life with you has been a wild one. You keep us on our toes. You have never been one to sit still and let life go on around you. You have to be in the thick of it always. It keeps things interesting around here, and I love every second of it. So now on to your Birthday List.

FOUR Reasons Mom LOVES Adia!

1. You have a beautiful heart. You are always worried about other people. You want to make everyone happy, and be sure that everyone is taken care of. You don't want to see anyone hurting or going without, and it melts my heart to see you share things that you love with people who need or want them. You are very selfless.

2. You are the best sister EVER! You take such good care of Ethan, and help him when he struggles. You always stand up for him. You share things with him, and when he is hurting, you hurt with him. You are and always have been his protector, and I think you were sent here partially just to be his sister.

3. You have a personality all your own. In fact, it's hard to believe that a personality that big can fit into a body that tiny. You do what you want, and say what you want, and no one can change your mind. You know who you are, and you are proud of that person. You never give up. You make things happen, and Heaven help the person who tries to get in your way.

4. Your laugh is contagious. You have the best laugh I have ever heard. It is so sweet that it makes everyone around you laugh too, whether there is anything funny or not. And you use that laugh all the time. You always look on the bright side of things and help us all see the happiness all around us. Even on the darkest of days you can make me happy. (And I love that you are learning to tell jokes lately. Even when your jokes don't make much sense, I laugh SO HARD just because I love to see you get such a kick out of yourself. It makes me giggle when you sigh and say "I am so stinkin' funny!")

So that's the list this year. I love you so much and am grateful for the four wonderful years I have been able to be your mom. What a great gift you have given me! Have a happy day, and never stop being you.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married...

Today Adia and Ayja were playing dress up. They came up stairs to make an announcement. They were both getting married...to Elmo. I loved their "wedding dresses" and the way they did their hair was Fab, so I wanted to take their picture. I told them that they couldn't BOTH marry him because that's against the law. Aida was fine with that. She decided that Ayja could marry him and she would be "the person who is the friend and loves you a lot so they hug you and hold your flowers, you know, like Uncle Levi was at your wedding, Mom" -The maid of honor? Yup, that was it.- "Besides, I don't really like Elmo anyway, He's too red, and all he wants to do is play 'tickle me here.'" (Also a little like Uncle Levi :) That's my girl. So, though I don't recall you holding my flowers, this one is for you, Uncle Levi. (I included a few pictures so that you can see the resemblance. The snapshots of my wedding are just scanned in, so they aren't great quality, but you will get the point anyway.) If you squint your eyes when you look at this one it seems a little like my head is floating in a plastic bubble!

The resemblance is really strong on these two don't you think?

On here it looks like Levi just has a REALLY bad bowl cut. He doesn't, he is wearing a ball hat backwards, you just can't see the bill. He actually doesn't even have hair at this point.

Random

So, I realize that I haven't been great at blogging lately (nor have I been great at returning e-mails or phone messages either- Sorry.) I have just had a crazy schedule for the last two weeks. I have no promises that things are going to slow down, but I do promise to get better at keeping my head above water. So now on to the things that have been keeping me busy...

First (not time-wise, but importance-wise) Troy is working out of town now. This is his first week in St. George, and we spent all weekend getting him all set up to live on his own. He will bet there for about three months (If it doesn't turn out like the Wyoming job. Luckily, this time he doesn't have to worry about the plumbers, so hopefully it will turn out better.) He is going to be there Monday-Thursday, and then be home Friday-Sunday. We are already missing him, but work is work, and in this economy he has to take what he can get.

In other news, I have been back on the daycare scene since the new year. I don't really want to be, but I can't say no to anyone, so I am now watching two kids. One is a baby boy who comes every day while his mom is going to beauty school. Adia introduces him to everyone as "my new brother Herman" I have to quickly correct her that he is actually our "new FRIEND, Keenan" so that no one gets the wrong idea. The other is a little girl who is Adia's age, and she comes two days a week. It gets wild around here sometimes, but we are hanging on. We'll see how long I can handle it.

Ethan has done really well in school since is started again, and last week at PTC his teacher RAVED about him. We are really proud of him.

Adia is back in Dance class after the holiday, and is loving it again. She is also being the assistant babysitter, and was a huge help until she experienced her first dirty diaper, and now when I ask for her to bring me a diaper or something she honestly says "Mom, I don't think that's going to happen." I can't really blame her, If I had a choice I wouldn't go there either.

We also went to a party at a friend's house last week and had a blast. We played the game "Curses". Have you played this game? I LOVE IT! We had so much fun, it was a crack up! It's one of those where you laugh until you wet your pants. I totally need to buy this game.

Now I will leave you with one of those I-said-something-I-regret-and-now-my-kids-are-driving-me-crazy-with-it stories. We were watching TV and one of those hot pockets commercials came on. At the end it has a little jingle (if you can call it that) that says "hot pockets" to a little tune. Anyway, every time Ethan sees that commercial the jingle gets stuck in his head. So Adia was putting on "makeup" and she kept asking Ethan if she looked "fabulous". Every time she did he would say "Hot Pockets". It made her really mad, and in order to stop the fighting I told her that when someone calls you hot it means that they are saying you are beautiful. She liked that, and soon the fight was over, but then a little later when I changed my clothes she said "oooh Mom, you have hot pockets!" It was kinda cute, but then Troy came in and I told him about it, and teasingly he patted my back pockets and said "Hot pockets is right!" Well of course Adia and Ethan saw that, so now they are running around slapping people's hineys and saying "hot pockets" all the time. (Well, that's actually a stretch, they haven't done it to anyone other than our little family, but each time we go into public I literally hold my breath knowing that at any moment I could hear those dreaded words, and someone might decide to take us to court.)

2008 the year in review

Well, it took me long enough, but I have my year in review list complete with some pictures (Not a ton, I'm having some fits with the layout today, and finally decided to give up:) If you see something your would like to know more about click on the highlighted words and it will take you to the blog post about that subject. Enjoy the trip down memory lane.:)

January:

• Starts off with a tragedy. My cousins were driving with their dad, and were in a car accident. My cousin Mckayla (My -Caleb, to my kids) was the only one to survive, and we are so grateful to have her with us still.





• After a month of being Elder's Quorum President Troy finally gets counselors. Turns out it doesn't make a lot of difference.




• Ethan gets sick, then finally gets over it, and then I get it. It turns out to be tonsillitis and I am sick - WAY SICK- for three weeks. The doctor wants to take my tonsils out. I end up keeping them, still not sure it was a good idea.




• Adia learns about makeup, and destroys my favorite eye color - a discontinued color that I couldn't get any more of. Luckily, my friend Melissa had one left.




• The kids have their birthday on the 29th, and my parents come up to celebrate for three days! (unheard of for them to stay that long) We love it.

February:

• We get a new First Presidency in our Church




• We watch the Super Bowl and get tons of calls about how the Pepsi Max commercial with the people falling asleep everywhere reminds them of Troy.




• Adia goes home with my parents for what should be a few days. She gets sick with a lung infection and has to do breathing treatments. The doctor recommends that we don't take her anywhere, so she has to stay two weeks at my mom's house until she is aloud to leave.




• She finally is aloud to come home and spends a lot of time sleeping, then we take her to the doctor here where we learn that she has one lung that won't inflate as much as the other. It didn't develop correctly as a result of the meth she was exposed to during pregnancy, so I warn everyone to "JUST SAY NO" After a while we find out that it doesn't seem to be causing her much trouble, and we just have to keep an eye on it and have her tested every so often.




• Our oven breaks - HUGE PAIN IN THE BUTT




• I enter and win an essay contest on my friend Ellie's blog. It is about one of my favorite things, and one of my favorite people.

March:

• It is girl scout cookie season, and Troy goes overboard, ordering from four different girls. We end up with 16 boxes of Thin Mints




• I get increasingly annoyed that Troy is still working in Wyoming all week, and only home on the weekends. It was supposed to be a month or two, and here we are, six months later...




• Ethan's socks come up missing every day, and we finally figure out that he is giving them away to someone who needs them more.




• The oven guy who FINALLY comes to fix our oven after nearly two months, almost electrocutes himself, and ends up wetting his pants.




• A crazy lady cuts my hair, and makes me all the more grateful for my normal sister/hair cutter.




• We have a great Easter vacation!
  

April:

• Troy's Grandma Fawn dies




• We watch Conference




• The weather finally starts to get warmer, so we all get sick.




• We get overstressed (I blame most of it on Troy for STILL not being home from Wyoming) and we all have a come apart.
  



• Ethan opens his car door as we are driving down I-15. We all survive, barely!




• Ethan learns to tie his shoes.
  

May:

• Gas prices start to get really crazy.




• Adia gives herself a haircut.
  



• For Stake Conference Boyd K. Packer (a great leader in our church) comes and tells us the history of the town we live in, and tells us that we need to get ready for big changes ahead.




• I get excited about food storage, (We end up putting our whole stimulus check toward it, and we are grateful later on in the year.)
  



• We celebrate the anniversary of becoming parents.




• Troy and I celebrate our 6th anniversary by going to dinner and a movie with our kids.
  



• Troy moves to a different job in Ogden, which means he moves home and lives with us full time!!!




• Troy's Grandpa sells us his motor home. Because we can't afford to fill it with gas, we park it in our back yard, and it is the beginning of our "staycation" season.





• I find a good reason to hate seagulls.




• School gets out for the summer.
  

June:

• Adia attends her first session of "Ballerina School"




• I get my first "actually getting paid for it" Photography job. I love it, and take a million pictures. The only problem we had was choosing which one's they loved the most. It started a trend for the rest of the year of many paying (And some freebies) jobs. In fact, when we got Christmas cards this year it was amazing how many of the pictures I took:)











• We went to an awesome free carnival in our neighborhood




• After months of moving people in and out of our ward at least once a week Troy decides that the Elder's Quorum is not a moving company! Now if only he could convince everyone else of that fact.




• I am overrun with young women's stuff as I get ready for and attend Girl's Camp and Laurel-light Camp.




• Troy turns into a true antique when he turns 31. I am feeling like an antique when I turn 26.
  



• We celebrate our "Famiversary", the anniversary of the day we were sealed in the temple.




• We go to the annual Fuller Family Reunion, this year, in Marysville Ut.
  

July:

• Ethan goes to and narrowly survives summer school when his bus driver takes them on a wild ride!




• I have my 100th post on my blog and celebrated with an extremely long post of 100 things about me.




• Adia gets stung by a bee right under her eye. It swells shut really fast. I'm not home to tell Troy that it isn't unusual for that to happen, so he rushes her to the hospital. They charge us $275 (that's with insurance) to tell us that she's fine.




• Troy and I work as tour guides of the Tabernacle here in town. We have tons of fun, and even find Adia's lost croc from the year before.
  

August:

• We do a lot of canning from our local farmer's markets, our garden, and especially our apricot tree.




• We lost Adia at the San Juan County Fair




• We had an interesting time feeding the missionaries.




• School Starts, Yahoo!





• There is a crazy fire that threatens to burn our house down
  



• We go on our only real camping trip in the motor home.

September

• We celebrate Peach Days with our community where Troy and I decide that we are going to train and run in the annual Peach Days Race. We start training, and even get some volunteers who want to run in the race with us.








• Ethan turns the other cheek - Literally, and we are proud of him.




• We go visit my family and Kalista plays with Ethan for the VERY FIRST TIME!!!
  
  

October

• We love watching Conference for our church.




• The city opens all of the fire hydrants in town to winterize causing the gutters to run full. I let my kids play in it.
  



• Levi, Cassie and Michael come for a visit.






• It is my one year "blog-aversary"




• I get a note from some anonymous person telling me that I am a good mom. It comes at a very good time as I am feeling like the worst mom in the world about then. Thank you to my angel, whoever she/he is!




• We meet with a behaviorist who gets a great behavior plan in order for us. We try it, and it is working!




• We have a very successful young women auction/fundraiser. I am totally overrun with stress over it all, but we end up with plenty of $$$ to cover the camp debt as well as get us through the rest of the year, and even enough to share with other groups.




• We make it through another primary program alive, and with our dignity intact.




• Adia decides (And tells EVERYONE) that Troy is old and freaky and not aloud to go out trick or treating on Halloween.




• Ethan loses 2 more teeth and another one is loose. I start to get worried.




• We have a rockin' good Halloween

November

• It's adoption awareness month, and I have a lot of great things planned to celebrate!
  
  
  



• We elect a new president. It isn't the person I voted for, but since I didn't really like the person I voted for much either, I'm not devastated. I am excited that I have the right to vote, and very excited that the election is over.





• Ethan goes on a new diet to try to help his behavior get under control. At first it is really hard, but it makes such a difference that it is totally worth the extra effort.




• I have my very first BLOG CONTEST!!! It is a Q and A about adoption. I get tons of people writing in to ask questions, and I think that we all learned a little about adoption. Yay for Shanna who won the special prize! (And I finally got it in the mail to her about a month later... yay me!:)




• I share our adoption story and am overwhelmed by the comments, e-mails, letters and phone calls I get asking questions about adoption. I have a pretty awesome support group. I'm one lucky girl.




• We have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
  

December

• We try to keep the real spirit of Christmas in our home this year. It actually helps a lot, and results in several traditions we hope to include in our celebrations every year.




• Ethan reminds me of how thankful I am to have him.




• Adia has her first dance recital, and she does great. We have a little performer on our hands.




• Adia learns about gift giving and keeping secrets.




• We finally get real snow!




• We have a great Christmas.




• Our friends Jeremy, Stacy, Parker, and Payton come for a fun visit and help us celebrate the new year.
  

What have you done?

I got this list from Carlie (a lot of my friends have done it, but I liked her version best:) It was really fun- just copy and paste it into your own blog, then bold the things you have done! And add your own at the bottom!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (it doesn't say it had to sound good)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (I speak Ethan and Adia, does that count?)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (No, but the road past my house is in Thelma and Louise)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business ( A few, and considering starting a new one)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (working on it:)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox (2x)
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Made amends with someone who offended you
101. Flew in a small Cessna plan with just you and the pilot
102. Ran out of gas
103. Eaten fried okra
104. Swam in the Caribbean Sea
105. Peed in a swimming pool
106. Rented a beach house
107. Hosted an exchange student
108. Been a Secret Santa to a family in need
109. Worked on a political campaign
110. Coached a sports team
111. Gone kayaking in the ocean
112. Certified as an elementary teacher
113. Been the mother to twins! (No, but I became the mother of two kids at the same time, and trust me, it was almost as hard!)
114. Eaten sushi
115. Swam with sting rays
116. Laughed so hard you wet your pants.
Now it's your turn...

Telephone Francine

Today Adia and I were playing tea party, and the "phone" interrupted our "meal". Adia "answered it", got a disgusted look on her face, said into the phone, "I'm not interested, Thank you" and hung up. Then she looked over at me and said "Darn telemarketers, waisting my time again." Do you think she has heard that somewhere a time or two?

Happy New Year!

I know, it's been the new year for 6 days now, I just didn't get around to posting about our New Years-Rockin' Eve, until now. We stayed home and our good friends, Jeremy, Stacy, Parker, and Payton came all the way from their house ( I won't tell you where that is, but trust me, it took some drivin') just to ring in the new year with us. Actually they came up for a wedding, but they did come up a couple of days early, so I am going to pretend that it was so they could spend time with us.:) Anyway, we were going to go to temple square and meet them and look at the lights. (we did that last year around Christmas, and drug our kids all over the place until they were worn out, frozen solid, and almost in tears, and then we took a ride in one of the horse drawn carriages.-they have a nice warm heater, and blankets, it was a blast! We were going to make a tradition out of it, but didn't get around to it again this year.) But they got rear-ended by someone who couldn't speak English, and didn't have a driver's license, so once they got out of that they decided to just come to our house and have a quiet(HA HA) relaxing evening. We did have fun, even though we didn't do much. We ordered food, and had some crazy experiences with the people at the Chinese Restaurant. Then we ate and watched movies until New Years, I woke everyone up and sent them to bed, then I went down and tried to get the kids to sleep. Finally at 4:00AM after a lot of threatening, they went to bed, and so did I...Until 7 AM when everyone was up again for the day. The boys went shopping, and the girls did some photography stuff, and then we all met up for lunch at the Soloman Center, a place in Ogden that does fun things like sky diving and surfing simulations, and has a fun arcade. We played there for WAY TOO LONG, until Ethan and I both had an over-stimulation melt down, and then we went home. Stacy and I got lost looking for a craft store, on the way, and finally ended up at home where the guys had put the kids to BED, it was only 4:30 in the afternoon. Of course they were up by nine and ready to play. It didn't bother Stacy and I too much though. We were out on the town getting lost in Ogden again, and then in Clinton when the GPS Lady kept changing her mind and telling us to do things like go South 175 more miles, and make a U turn on a one way street. We did finally find what we were looking for both times though, and ended up getting some beautiful photos printed of a lovely bride, and took a moonlit tour of Clinton(The store we were going to was closed by the time we got there, so really that's all we got out of the trip). It was great. We came back home and most of us were in bed by 1:00, so it was considerably better than the night before. It might not sound like it, but we did have a really great time. Thanks, Mallory Family, for coming to visit (Too bad Levi and Cassie are bums and flaked out on us at the last minute:)

Adia reaches a milestone.

Adia has wanted her ears pierced for a long time now. We talk about it a lot, and always decide that next time we are home we will get Aunt Bobbi to do it for us. We never have. We decided that this trip was the one, we were finally going to do it. Again I tell her that it is going to hurt. Aunt Bobbi has a little gun and is going to shoot it through her ear. It will make a hole, it will hurt. I figure after all the times I tell her it is going to hurt, and make it sound as scary as possible, and she still wants to do it, she must be ready. We set up an appointment with Aunt Bobbi. We go to her shop. I explain the gun thing again. Bobbi explains that it is going to hurt. She still wants it, so I get out the camera. (Hey, I'm not going to let an event like this go undocumented)
First they have to smile for the camera.

Next they have to be crazy for the camera (Two peas in a pod, these girls are!)

She chooses the magic pair of earrings that she will wear for nearly a month. She decides on gold with a red stone in the middle.

Bobbi cleans her up and shoots the first one through.

First one done... not as fun as we thought it would be. NOW she chooses to listen to me, and the blah, blah, blah, I have been shooting at her is suddenly registering and words like "hurt, gun, shoot, hole in ears, HURT" are starting to actually mean something.

Slight break in the documenting as I am needed elsewhere. Ethan hugs her and cries with her as Daddy and I and our Super Brave (and Strong) Uncle Jim hold her down so Aunt Bobbi can do the other side.

Now it's over. Not sure who is hurting the most, Adia, or Aunt Bobbi.

Poor Aunt Bobbi is forced to just on the Trampoline for 30 minutes in the freezing cold in order to make Adia feel better about things. Thanks Aunt Bobbi, you are the best!