Ain't nobody got time for that!

I recently got a really great opportunity at work. It's something that isn't offered to very many people in my position, so it's kind of a big deal. I'm really honored and greatful, but it does come with a lot more responsibility, and that equals more work. And with basketball practice, and gymnastics, and homework and church duties and scouts (man, that scouting program can really suck the life out of you, am I right?) it has become quite a balancing act. Lately I feel a lot like Sweet Brown - ain't nobody got time for that!




PS, this is not meant to offend anyone!

I made a lady cry in the store today.

...and I'm not even sorry about it.

The second I stepped into the store today my ears picked up on the sound I knew very well. It was the sound of autism. To the untrained ear, it is often undetectable, but to a seasoned pro like me (Ha, I'm anything but a pro, but it sounded good.), it is unmistakable. Sometimes it's more of a feeling than a sound, like the soft flutter of angel wings, my sister calls it. But sometimes it is a loud cry, and this is what it was today. A loud high pitched sqealy cry that reached to all courners of the store. And it didn't stop. As I moved from isle to isle, I knew I was getting closer to the angel until finally I moved into the fruitsnack section and we came face to face. The angel's mom, Superwoman ( because she's the only kind of person great enough to be entrusted with an angel) was quietly talking to her son. Rubbing his back and talking clamly. From listening to her I got the gist that the cause of the sqealing was in regards to there not being anymore of the grape flavored Welches fruit snacks. The thing about autistic kids is they like the stuff they like. There is no changing it. I gave her a sympathetic nod, I've been there myself, and continued up the isle. As I moved farther up the isle I passed two other women who were talking, quite obviously about Superwoman. They were questioning her parenting ability (which is something I LOATHE) and saying that "you can't just give your kids everything they want all the time, and then expect them to be okay with it if you ever say 'no'." and "Maybe if she did a little more spanking and a little less coddling he wouldn't act that way." Suddenly my blood was boiling! I don't even know those ladies, and I suddenly couldn't stand them! If there's one thing that I've learned over the years it's that you don't know the view until you've looked through the glasses. You have no idea what goes on in any one else's life, and therefore, you have no right whatsoever, to judge. Who knows how you would handle the same situation if you were in their place? Without even thinking I jerked my cart to a stop, looked those ladies straight in the eyes, then spun around and threw my arms around Superwoman, and said, "You are the best mom ever!" She stood there looking at me strangely for a minute, and I started worrying because I totally invaded her hoola hoop, and some people aren't huggers... but then her eyes filled with tears, overflowing down her cheeks, and she smiled. We shared a look that only two women who have fought the same battle can have, and we both went on our way. One thing I've thought a lot about this month - this month of love, this month that is all about taking care of your heart and your teeth and your sweetheart, this month, we should be taking care of each other too. Sometimes we all have a day where we could use a hug or an encouraging word, and what does it cost us to give that to someone else? (well if you do the hug ambush like I did, it could potentially get you some criminal charges, but use caution, and you'll be alright) I don't know that woman, and I don't know that she's the best mom ever, but she was being a really good mom at a really hard moment, and what did it hurt to tell her so? Anyway, it's something to think about this love month, I guess.
So I made a lady cry today, and the only regret I have is that I didn't make those other two ladies cry too. But I probably would have accomplished that by stomping their toes or running them down with my cart, and then I really would have had criminal charges, so I guess it's better to stop while I'm ahead...

School meetings.

Have I ever told you how much I hate school meetings? Well, I do. It's fine if your kid is an average kid who learns the same way the teachers teach, who have no behavioral problems, who mind their manners, do what is asked of them and never question authority. If your kid is like that it's fun going to meet with the teachers and hear them praise your child and validate your parenting abilities, and you can go out for ice cream after and feel happy and content and your world can be all rainbows and sunshine. My kids are not those kinds of kids. No, not at all. Instead I go to school meetings and hear about how Ethan has pretended that he's walking on whoopie cusions everywhere he went for the last week, or how even though he gets good scores on all of his Math papers, he does poorly on tests, and so he must just be refusing to focus at test time, or how he stabbed a bully with a pencil, or has a strange obsession with eyewear,  or won't go through the door until all the girls have gone through first or how Adia is too bossy to the other kids or can't stop helping the kids who don't get it and insists on working on things until she gets it right, "she just won't give up", and she questions the things the teacher tells her, she can't just trust her, she has to prove it.... the list goes on and on. The real problem is that most of these things are seen by me as being positive qualities (obviously not the stabbing or the whoopy cushions, but you know what I mean) but they are seen by the teachers as negatives. It's hard for me to hear that the qualities that I think will make Adia a great leader some day are getting her in trouble. It's hard to hear that Ethan, who was never supposed to make it past Kindergarten but is now in a mainstreamed grade level class, and doing well, is being called lazy because he has test anxiety. It's hard to go to school meetings and hear over and over all of the negative things about your kids instead of hearing how Adia is reading three grade levels above what she should be, and Ethan is the number one speller in the 5th grade. It irritates me, and makes me cranky, and makes my stomach and my head hurt.
So last week was parent teacher conferences, and Lucky Day, I was out of town for work! I missed it! My heart was soaring! But then that mom guilt set in, and I knew if I didn't meet with the teachers I would regret it. So I sucked it up and made appointments. That was actually worse than normal because it gave me more time to get worked up and give myself an ulser about it. But finally the day came. And you know what? It wasn't half bad. Yes there were some down sides, but there were a lot of good points too. If looks like my kids are doing pretty great this quarter! Whew, what a releif. Now lets go get some icecream and celebrate not having to go to another one of those suckers for several more months!

Help me find...

Have you seen those people on face book who are looking for their birth parents or birth children? They are all over the place all of a sudden with their white poster board signs hand written with details about the person they are searching for. It turns out they are really quite successful. I've seen news reports about many of them finding the loved one's they have been trying to locate for years. So with today being Valentines day, I have been thinking maybe I need a poster board of my own. Not looking for a birth family, but searching for my valentine.
Please help me find my Valentine.
He is kind and smart.
He has good values, he loves kids (especially mine), and has an incredible sense of humor.
He challenges me.
He has a job, and believes in hard work, but he also has compassion.
He is attracted to women, and not at all to men.
He probably has brown hair and brown or blue eyes.
He doesn't want to move too fast, or force me to relocate, and he doesn't mind a little chaos.
If this is you or you know who this is please contact me right away...

Adia's Baptism

It was beautiful. It went perfectly aside from a few small hiccups or minor annoyances. She had so many loved ones who made an effort to be there. I was thinking as I sat listening to a riveting talk on the Holy Ghost (If you were there you are laughing now:) that we are so lucky to have a truly amazing support system.  I mean, we have some phenomenal people in our lives, and we wouldn't be where we are right now without them. Many people had to sacrifice by driving hours to be there, coming out of their comfort zone, missing important things etc. and still they came to show Adia, how much they love and care about her. Again, it was beautiful.
Of course I forgot to take even one picture. What is happening to me? I did the same thing at Ethan's baptism. Someone else should be in charge of that. Usually I'm that person, so I guess no one ever thinks about it anymore.
So instead of showing you pictures of the day, I am going to overload you with pictures that we took of her in her dress for her invitation. Deal?

After being baptized all of Adia's sins were washed away. I often wish I could experience that feeling again, so I asked her if she felt different. She answered that yes, she did feel a little different. I was a little surprised at her answer, so I asked how so. She said, "Well, I got a little bit of water in my ear that won't come out, and that feels pretty different." Not quite what I was expecting, but...