My friend Shanna did something on her blog that I loved. She took that 6 things quiz, and turned it into an adoption theme. Instead of six quirks about myself I am going to tell you six things about adoption. (She didn't actually tag me, but I thought it was a great idea, so I'm going to pretend I got tagged, pathetic, I know, but that's the way I am. Sorry Shanna!:) So here goes.
1. I didn't believe that miracles actually happened these days, and especially not to me until Ethan. Now that I look back on the adoption process there are too many things that are way more than coincidence, they had to be miracles.
2. I always knew I would adopt children even before I knew anything about our infertility issues. I just knew that it would be a part of my life, but I didn't think it would be until my "own" kids were a little older.
3. Even though my kids are 1/4 Hispanic and Troy and I are as white as they come, and their family doesn't look ANYTHING like us the kids look so much like us it is amazing. No one ever believes that they are adopted from someone who isn't immediate family. I think of it as more proof that they were really always supposed to be ours and just got sent to the wrong place first.
4. I have been amazed at all of the ignorance and rude comments that surround adoption. It used to make me really mad, but mostly now I just realize that when people say things that hurt me or my family it's done because they don't really know what they are saying, or they don't realize how that makes us feel. It usually isn't because they want to cause pain, they just aren't thinking about the way they sound. (I don't know if that's true at all, but it's what I choose to believe so I don't drive myself into a rage coma:)
5. I have a love-hate relationship with adoption. I really do love it, and am so grateful every day for the way it changed my life, and gave me my beautiful little family. But some days I hate it. I hated all of the heartbreak it caused my family and I hated the heartbreak it caused the birth family, I hated how the kids needed a home, and we wanted to be that home, and still we had to go through two years of torture and fear before we were actually given that right. Now that our adoptions are over and things have mostly calmed down, I still have my days of hate when I see adoption hurting my friends in the same way it hurt us.
6. When we first started looking into adoption I said I would NEVER have an open adoption. There was no way I would do that, it was a bad idea, and it was just danger waiting to happen. Now we have an open adoption, and I love it. It isn't without it's problems, but I love getting to know our birth family, and I love that when we adopted our family not only grew by two, it grew to include an entire other family. Now that I understand it better, I realize that it can be a wonderful thing.
Okay, You know I could go on and on about adoption, but my six things were a little vague on purpose. I wanted to get you all thinking. In honor of Adoption Month I am about to have my VERY FIRST CONTEST!!! Are you ready? Here goes. Post an adoption question in the comment section, or email it to me eberling2@msn.com It can be about adoption in general, or about our particular story. Anything goes, I have nothing to hide, and nothing will offend me (see #4, I have moved on:) On Saturday, National Adoption Day, I will select a random winner, and send you a mystery prize. I will also answer all of the questions on my blog, so everyone who reads will get a little education on the subject. Fun right? So put your thinking caps on and give me a question!
Yay! I'm glad you did this tag! Happy National Adoption Month! My question is: Are you working on a book about your adoption story? :) I am going to do this contest on my blog too!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with your post about adoption. It is a miracle, sometimes, you hate it, and you want to educate others because of the effect it has had on your life. I have been thinking a lot about adoption, because I will be leaving LDS Family Services soon after three years. So my question is what other options did you guys explore along with LDSFS or before you decided on adoption?
ReplyDeleteHi Katie, ready for my questions. :) I have a few. Ever since my mission I have found this desire to adopt. I have shared this with James and he is open to the idea as well. I have done some research but have always hit a dead end. How did you get started? I would love to adopt outside the country but I know that there is a huge need in our country as well. So I am open to both. I just dont know where to start. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteI will think of more questions later I am sure. For now I wodnered since you were in an open adoption would you ever allow the children to meet their birth parents face to face? Is that soemthing that would be harmful or a good experience for them?
ReplyDeleteHi my sister in law told me about your blog her name is Tiffany. We also adopted how did you pursue your adoption and who did you guys go through. Are adoption was finalized today !!! Yippee Yay for adoption month.
ReplyDeleteI wondered what adoption costs financially. How much does it differ to go through a private agancy compared to Lds services, or if you were to start as a foster parent through the state.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you decided to adopt and of the miracle that took place in finding Ethan and Adia. I have seen the joy that these two children have brought into the lives of your family. When I see Lane and Helen talk about their grandchildren, I see the pride in their eyes and it does not matter if they are biological or adopted, all their grandchildren are all the same. That is how it is suppose to be. My children were adopted by my husband when Brook was just 5 and it was the happiest day of my life as we were a "family" finally.
ReplyDeleteI like to think of our family as an "adopting family" as do not only are my children fall into that category but Laile also has two children that she adopted.
Don't you think we are a fantastic family to be able to share our love with so many special children?
My question is: How do you get "other family" members to accept your children as part of their family? This has been a very hard position that my children have had to deal with and it has really caused hard feelings toward some of "other family" members.
Ready... for my question so I can win... hee hee hee...
ReplyDeletePersonal one: If you got a phone call that there was another brother or sister... would you adopt them too? This is the first one that came to my mind. I love your kids... in case you didn't know! They make me smile each time I visit or read your blog.
You are such an inspiration, If it weren't for your example we wouldn't have looked into adoption at all, and we wouldn't have added to our family that we love so much. My question is "how are you so strong in everything you do? You are such a great mother, friend, provider,and strong in the gospel too, How do you do it? I love you!!!
ReplyDelete