Misunderstanding #29

#29 on the list is: What do you think people misundertand most about you?


Normally I would say that people generally mistake my shyness for my being stuck up. I'm not stuck up at all, but I am shy, so I don't talk much before I know a person. It's been that way all my life, and I've often had people tell me later that they thought I was stuck up or snooty. 
But lately I'd have to say that people misjudge my opinion on divorce. It seems like anyone who is having problems in their marriage or anyone who's wedding date is approaching, and they start to have second thoughts think that I will have all the answers to what they should do. You would not believe the phone calls and e-mails I have received lately, I'm not even kidding. Now first of all, I would have to say that I am more than happy to listen to your problems. I can ask probing questions and help you re-examine your point of view. I can even lead you to find some solutions, or give ideas that might help you decide what to do, but I WILL NOT EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD GET A DIVORCE! I won't do it. One, because it isn't my place, but mostly because I rarely think divorce is a good idea until you have tried EVERYTHING ELSE. Everyone is shocked when they hear me say that. I guess because I did get a divorce people assume that I am pro divorce. But that isn't exactly true. Yes I did get a divorce, and yes it was a quick decision, and an uncommonly quick outcome. (I had my divorce decree in my hand 11 days after I filed- it usually takes at least 90) And yes, getting a divorce was the 100% right thing for me to do - no questions asked, my kids, myself, as well as Troy are all much happier and healthier because of it. But, it wasn't something I did lightly. I did a lot of soul searching and praying and weighing the options. Both of us did. It was absolutely the right thing for us and I have not regretted it for one second since, but if working things out would have been the right thing to do I absolutely would have done it. I believe in marriage. I think that a marriage where both people are working at it can be a beautiful thing. And I believe in forgiveness. So I believe that a marriage, even at it's breaking point can be saved if it's the right thing to do. So if you are looking for someone to take your side or tell you how great divorce is and how crappy marriage is, or dog on men and say how "they're all the same, you can't trust any of them", you are coming to the wrong person. I love men, I love love, I love marriage, Finding a good man who will love me and my kids and marry me for eternity is my biggest goal. I am hopeless romantic at heart, and while most people seem to think I would be a bitter man hater because of my situation, it just isn't true. 


Also, a lot of people think that I like animals and I don't, they think I hate living here and can't wait to move, and that isn't true, and 37 of my "friends" have sent me that link to the blog about the gay LDS man who is happily married to a woman, so I assume they misunderstand my opinion about that as well. :) 


BTW, happy birthday to me today, I'm the big 30! So far, it feels a lot like yesterday...