Embarrassing Moment #10

10 on THE LIST: Describe your most embarrassing moment:


I used to never get embarrassed. I was pretty much unbreakable. Yes, things happened that bothered me or that I wish I hadn't been involved with, but to actually EMBARRASS me was something you could rarely achieve. But then I had kids... and I seldom have a day when something doesn't...
But this one was possibly the worst. It is taken out of the middle of a blog I posted in 2007, Adia would have been two, almost three.
...We really need to teach that girl to stop talking so much or something. Yesterday we were at the store in the produce section getting some pomaganites. They were in a great big bin and several people, in addition to us were bent over the bin grabbing some. Right across the bin from us stopped a  REALLY LARGE woman who was wearing a camisole top (She had to be freezing, we live it northern Utah after all, and it is December for Pete's sake!) and her rather large chest happened to be falling out of her already revealing top as she bent over to grab her fruit. Never one to miss anything Adia said in her unique voice (I swear, she doesn't yell things, but her voice is unusually loud and carries REALLY well.) "Look at that lady's breasts mom! They're HUGE! They are falling out of her shirt. That isn't very modest! Those are some HUGE big breasts, Mom. They're even bigger than yours. I have breasts too, but mine are small like daddy's. Daddy has small breasts and Ethan has small breasts and I have small breasts, but you have pretty big breasts, and that lady has REALLY BIG ones. Bigger than big, they're HUGE! And they are falling right out of her shirt like a not modest girl. You should cover those breasts up lady." Every time she said "HUGE" it was in this super exadurated higher pitched, louder voice, like the voice was trying to communicate just how big the breasts were. I was frantically trying to get her to be quiet, or stop talking. I was clamping my hand over her mouth, but she somehow kept getting away from me, and talking louder and louder, and she wouldn't stop! An old man who had been picking out oranges nearby burst into that silent kind of laughter where your whole body convulses and your face is all scrunched up and your mouth is open but no sound comes out because you are laughing so hard you can't breathe. He literally doubled over, he was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up. The lady was giving us the stink eye by that point, but Adia still wouldn't stop talking about it. I had to make a quick decision before Flashdance over there jumped across the vat of pomogranites and strangled my little girl with her HUGE boobs. I knew she wouldn't stop talking about it until I validated her observation, so finally I just said "That's right Adia, You are very smart to notice that." And with that she quieted down. I grabbed her out of the seat, left our half full cart right where it sat, and nearly RAN out of the store. As we moved away from the pomagranite bins I noticed several people wiping thier eyes and giggling to themselves. Maybe someday I will find it as funny, but not yesterday, and not so much today either...


Now several years later I can laugh about it, but it is still one of the most embarrassing experiences I have ever had.