Happy Birthmother's Day!

*Just a note: based on a few of the comments I have recieved I just want to make sure you know that this post is not meant for simpathy or pointing fingers. It is to let you know that because of a birthmother I will never have to have another mother's day like those before. It is to make you see just how important and wonderful birthmothers are...

Let me tell you a Mother's Day story. Once upon a time...

Troy and I had been trying for a while to have a baby. Like, not just trying, but really TRYING - With the charting and the counting and the temperatures and the waiting... and the disappointment, that kind of trying- and still no babies. Then a health problem caused us to go to the doctor and get some tests done, not knowing that one thing had anything to do with the other. So fast forward to the Friday before Mother's day. We got a call from the doctor with the test results. Surprise, we had a very slim chance of ever getting pregnant! What! We didn't even know we were getting tested for that, and POW! How do you handle that? We had a day of tears, and then blessings, and then we regrouped. We knew that our chances weren't gone, they were just slim, and we knew that we had a Father in heaven who is a God of Miracles, we knew other people personally who had the same challenge, and still got pregnant, and we knew a lot about our other options. We weren't hopeless, we were just hurt, and we knew that we could handle it... Then two days later it was Mother's day. Mother's were being celebrated, and an extra part of my already broken heart was shattering that day. Then came the not so helpful comments like "why don't you have a baby yet, time's a tickin'." or "Guess what! Even though we have only been trying for (like)two days we are pregnant!" or "If you need help I can draw you a picture" or "You are so lucky you aren't pregnant, just look at how miserable I am." or "My wife is pregnant with her second baby, and if this one is another girl we are going to send it back." (I'm so not kidding, these were all actual comments that we got.) I can laugh at them now, but at that time with my heart so freshly wounded, all it did was cause me pain. Not liking this story? Let's fast forward to the very next year. We had learned about Ethan eight months earlier, and had been working so hard to adopt him with very little progress, and many many heartbreaks. Then we had found out about Adia in January, and had been working just as hard to adopt her with much less progress but just as many heartaches. We were ready to go to California and pick them both up the week before Mother's day when we got yet another heart wrenching call telling us that the judge had made a ruling that we would not be given either child and both children were being placed in separate Foster-adopt homes in California. Then it was mother's day, and I was asked to speak in church about the joys of Motherhood. Those were joys that I had just been told would never be mine to experience, and the pain of that shook me so much that I could barely stand up at the pulpit and give my talk. I ended up bawling my way through some really badly written pages about how special mothers were before going home early to put on PJs and curl up in bed for the rest of the day.

Good stories right? :) I know, not really, but I do have a point. Those were the worst mother's days of my life, and because of the women we celebrate today myself, and many other women around the world will never have to experience that kind of mother's day again. Because of the beautiful gift we have been given by these wonderful angels, we have the opportunity to be mothers. To enjoy breakfast in bed and homemade cards. To be smothered in kisses and hugs and smiles. To feel a joy we never even knew existed. Thank you birth mothers. Your sacrifices are so appreciated. Thank you Skylar even though I don't really know you, I love you for creating these beautiful babies. And thank you Laura, for choosing us to bestow this gift to, for fighting for us and caring about us, and being strong enough to make this sacrifice. We love you always.

*If you would like to know more about birth mothers or birth mother's day go here, or watch this video (you'll cry:) or click on the Ask A Birth mom icon on the left side of this page. If you would like to know more about adoption go here, or here, or here, or if you want to read our adoption story go here.