One more reason to believe seagulls are evil!

It's no secret that I don't like animals. Don't even try to give me reasons to like them, or change my mind, it's not going to happen. I never have liked them and I never will. I would just as soon put a cat in the microwave and turn it on as to have it sit in my lap, all hairy and smelly. I don't like dogs, fish, cows, bunnies, anything. I don't really even like going to the zoo. I have never met an animal that I thought didn't stink. ( That might also be because in Stacy's words, I'm a "scent snob" I have this superpower sense of smell, and can smell things that normal people wouldn't even notice. It's a blessing and a curse, but this is better saved for another post...) Anyway out of all the animals I have ever been in contact with, birds are one of my very least favorites. I can't stand the things, with the pooping, and the singing, and the chirping, and the flying, ugh, I am getting a little angry even thinking about them. And although I didn't realize it until recently, I really really hate Seagulls. I don't know what it is about them (Maybe the fact that they are EVERYWHERE around here) but they just really annoy me. Oh, and they poop like... well, I won't go into it but lets just say that it's a lot of splattering poop, and it WILL NOT come off your car when it hits it, anyway, I am getting off track once again. I just don't like them, and we will leave it at that.

So yesterday was Park Day for a bunch of friends. We all bring our kids to the park on Thursdays, and eat lunch and let them play while we have some much needed adult conversation. It apparently was park day for another few groups too because there were kids and PB&J sandwiches all over the place. Well, I don't know if it was all the dropped food, or if there was just an infestation of seagulls who had been possessed by the devil or what, but all of a sudden there were  like, nine seagulls that were swooping down, buzzing the kids heads, flying around, doing that awful squawk thing they do, and just being a major pain. I was watching the kids as they played when all of a sudden a seagull pooped and it landed on a little girls arm. And it really splattered, like her whole arm and half of her shirt was covered in a cow-pie-like pile of white. She looked down at it, kind of confused, and then realizing what it was, she puked. Because it was not my child, it made me chuckle a little, but what happened next I was not prepared for. There were a couple of kids playing next to her, and when they saw what was happening, they too, threw up. I think it was the combination of eating so much and then playing so hard in the heat that made it all come up so easily, but none the less it happened. But it gets worse. The three kids were standing on the top getting ready to go down the slide. When they threw up, gravity took it downward fast. Though it didn't hit anyone, it did splatter at a few kid's feet, and there were two more pukers in a matter of seconds. So the moms ran over to see what was going on. They hadn't seen what happened, and they kept asking what was making them puke. One of the kids would try to answer and remember what had happened, and puke again, and it was like a chain reaction. So the moms took the kids over to where they had been sitting to clean them up a little, but the mom or the first girl with poop on her arm hadn't noticed the poop yet. She was cleaning the vomit, and was wiping the girl's face, but each time the girl would look over at her arm she would start gagging again. The sound of that made the other kids gag too. Though there wasn't much more vomit, the kids kept on heaving until the moms decided it was time to pack up and head home. So most of you probably think that this is the most disgusting story, and don't know why I would tell it, but I was literally rolling on the ground I was laughing so hard. I couldn't stop, and each time we would hear a dry heave, I couldn't stop myself from laughing all over again. It was so funny! But anyway, this is proof that these devil birds have to be stopped! Look at all of the pain and suffering they have caused! (my sides are still sore from laughing so hard:)