Missionary Meal

So on Saturday night our friend Mark (also the ward mission leader) called frantically asking if I would mind having the missionaries over for dinner on Sunday. I am so lucky that I now live in a town with an actual grocery store, or I would have been REALLY stressed out.) Anyway, that wasn't too big of a deal, until I remembered all of the other things that Sunday had in store for me, aside from church and my calling and Troy's calling (Which doesn't really require much from me, but still takes him away for several hours during the day, leaving me alone to get the kids ready for church, and then getting dinner cooked alone while keeping the kids from killing each other or messing up the house.) I also have been helping our neighbor out doing a newspaper route,-getting up at 3:00 AM and driving blindly through the streets of our town throwing papers at poor defenseless homes and cars, and dragging my tired butt back home just as Troy is rushing out the door to his early morning meeting yelling, "the kids want animal pancakes for breakfast, and I told them you would take care of it." So anyway, we made it through church, got the kids and myself home, and Troy to another meeting, the kids shoved down PB&J and went down stairs to change and play QUIETLY while I started making bread, and got the ham in the oven. I knew it was too quiet, but I was hoping that just this once they were just sincerely being good. What was I thinking? Troy got home said that he heard water running, and went down stairs to check it out. Just then the phone rang, and it was the missionaries. As I saw their number on the caller ID I hoped that they were canceling, but no such luck. They were calling in their order for dessert. I am serious. The elder I spoke to asked if I had dessert ready yet, when I answered no (I was going to throw together a brownie mix and serve it hot with ice cream, super easy) he said "oh, good. My companion and I are really trying to stay in shape while on our missions, so we are counting calories. We would like to eat as low fat as possible, and no sugary drinks or desserts. We like fruit or jello-WITHOUT floaties, or something equally low in calories." As I hung up my mind went over our meal, one fatty dish after another, ham, funeral potatoes, fresh rolls dripping with butter and jam... and with an hour and a half before they came there was no way I could have jello ready. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!? I quickly decided on fruit smoothies for dessert, and tweaked a few of the recipes or changed the dishes I could to keep the meal a little more healthy. As I was rushing around trying to fix things, and thinking not nice thoughts about how maybe the missionaries should ride bikes more if they were concerned about staying in shape,- who GAINS weight on their mission?- I suddenly heard a string of profanity from down stairs, and snapped back to reality remembering that the kids were down stairs... with Troy... and water. I ran down stairs, nearly being run over by the kids who were trying to get out of the "DANGER ZONE" as fast as they could. As I turned down the hall I could see a puddle of water coming from the bathroom. I rushed in to see an inch of water all over the floor, and Troy laying under the sink unscrewing the pipes from under the sink. My little darlings (Troy's words, not mine, I usually call them HIS kids when they do something bad) had decided to make a "spit wad heaven" in the bathroom using toilet paper, and water from the sink. They had covered the mirror, ceiling, walls, etc. with the giant lumps of toilet paper. Then, because the effects that water has on toilet paper is SO fascinating, they also decided to pack an ENTIRE ROLL of it down the DRAIN!!! then turn on the water full blast and see what happened. Well, I can tell you what happened, It clogged the drain, and broke a seal on one of the pipes, and caused our bathroom to flood right before we were having picky eaters over for dinner! Normally it takes a lot to stress me out, but for some reason (Lack of sleep probably being the big one) I nearly had a melt down. I wanted to throw myself on the ground and kick and scream for a second, but because it was covered in water, I decided it was a bad idea, and pulled myself back together. I sent the kids down stairs to clean up the mess. (They knew they were on thin ice, so they did it without complaining, I told Troy turned off the water so no more damage could be done, then supervised the cleaning effort. I went up stairs to make dinner.
All in all it turned out okay. It seems that when the elder said he and his companion were watching their weight he really meant the HE was watching his weight, as the other elder seemed fine to eat anything we set in front of him. Elder Chubby on the other hand ( he was really not chubby, he was very thin and in- shape, I just call him that in my head to make myself giggle) kept asking to look at the labels of everything (like I got everything out of a box or something) he was pretty put out when I didn't have a calorie count for him. None the less, he still ended up eating three warm rolls slathered in butter and jam, like that's any less calories or sugar than the glass of crystal light that he turned his nose up at and refused to drink. They were both very nice though, and Ethan LOVED them! He thought they were awesome, and he sat right next to them, and made them cut his meat, and butter his roll, and basically attend to his every need. They seemed happy to do it. After they left he asked all kinds of questions about missions, and what the missionaries do, and he decided the he is going to go on a mission when he "gets a little older, like, more than ten". I have been telling him that he was going to go on a mission for a long time now, but actually seeing missionaries in action has a much better impact than his crazy mom telling him how great it is going to be. It was a great example for him, and I'm sure we will do it again soon.
Oh, and another thing that happened, possibly my favorite of the day...
One of the missionaries (not Elder Chubby, Elder Good Manners who was Ethan's and my favorite) was from Pennsylvania, where Troy served his mission. They talked about places, and people who they both knew, but Elder Good Manners couldn't remember Troy or any of his companions. Then the Elder Manners asked how long ago Troy served. Troy told him he went into the mission field almost ten years ago, to which Elder Manners replied, "Oh, no wonder I don't remember you, I was just a little kid way back then!" I could have died. I was holding my breath to keep from laughing, and I'm sure I was turning purple. After they left Troy complained about how rude that was, and you could tell it hurt his pride a bit, but it's true, he would have been, like, NINE. Anyway, being old is something I tease Troy about all the time, and I thought it was great, and further proved my point:) Good times...