I have a plan!

This weekend with all of our traveling there was much public restroom using in my life. I HATE public restrooms. I don't like to use them, and I don't like my family to use them, but when you have three people in your family who have pea sized bladders (pun intended) and a six hour drive, what are you going to do? I don't love the idea of sitting on a seat that hundreds of other behinds have sat on, and who knows how long it has been since it has been cleaned. (hence the reason I carry Lysol wipes in my purse, and the reason I hover even after using the wipes) I also don't love that all that separates you from five other people who are sitting on their own overused potty seat is a thin partition which you can see through around the edges. It makes me very uncomfortable...enter children...more discomfort because now it is a social occasion. Adia is a talker. We can't go anywhere without making a new friend-even the restroom. This weekend we had stopped at one of our "approved" restroom stops (yes, I plan out where we can and can not stop on our trips. We like this particular one because it seems very clean, and they leave a can of Clorox disinfectant in the handicapped stall, and we USE IT!) Adia had already gone, and while I usually hold it until we get to our destination, I had just drunk three liter bottles of water, and didn't think I could comfortably wait the next three hours until we got to my parent's house. All of a sudden the door opens and someone enters the bathroom. Like a shot Adia is to the stall door peeking at who it is. Apparently it was someone with short hair because Adia yells out "mom, there's a boy in the bathroom. Hey boy, what are you doing in here. This bathroom is only for girls! Boy's shouldn't come in the girl's bathroom, that is not modest. Boy, why aren't you talking to me?..." I hear snickering from the other stalls. Of course the only stall open was the one next to me. Luckily the man/woman/? was only blowing his/her/? nose, and would likely be out of there soon, so I could hide in the bathroom until the coast was clear. Then Adia says "my mom is in here going poop like a good girl. (I TOTALLY WAS NOT!) Are you going poop? (She peeks under the stall) Nope, just blowing your nose! Good job not wiping it on your shirt. My mom makes a sound like this (Gagging sound) when I wipe my nose on my shirt." Now I hear bursts of full out laughter from the surrounding stalls as the man/woman/? heads toward the door) "wait boy, you didn't wash your hands! That makes germs, and you are going to get everyone sick...Boy...Boy...did you hear me!...) So there I am hovering over the toilet, and I should be thinking of a plan of action to get out of the bathroom without anyone actually seeing my face, but instead I am coming up with a plan of a different kind...the plan of PAYBACK! HA HA HA! All of a sudden I had jumped forward about fifty years. I am going to go on vacation with Adia and her family. I am going to go t0 the restroom with her, and when the bathroom is packed I am going to yell out "Adia, I can hear you pooping! That's my good girl! Boy you are sure stinking it up in here, but not as bad as this lady next to me. Boy, she must have eaten Mexican food for lunch! Whew!...) Everyone will think I am just a crazy old lady, but the truth? I am crazy...crazy like a fox... Watch out Adia, your time is coming... ( now if I can just really not BE crazy in 50 years...)