A few weeks ago the kids and I were staying with my parents for the weekend. I had been outside workingwith my dad, and the kids were inside helping my mom make dinner. When we walked in I could smell that we were having tacos. I said "Oh, I think I smell Mexican!" Adia popped her head out of the kitchen and said "Well, there are two Mexicans in here, but if you smell something, it's probably Ethan."
Did you know Adia is Mexican? She is partially. Her Birth Father is part hispanic, and lately, for whatever reason, she has really been trying to connect with her hispanic haritage. One thing that I think is really important when it comes to adoption is to let the kids find out where they come from if they want. I'm not saying to force them to connect with their haritage if they don't want to, but I think that if they have an interest they should be allowed, and you should help them find out information that can help them discover that part of who they are.
I'm not hispanic, and I don't even know very much about that culture. Troy's Grandpa lived right on the Mexican boarder when he grew up, and his mother was Mexican and his father was American, so Troy has some Mexican blood running through his veins as well. However, his grandpa passed away several years ago, and other than owning a vacation home in Mexico, none of his family connects with the Mexican culture at all. So that isn't any help. We have been to Mexico on several occasions, but the area we go to is very "Americanized" and is a tourist town, so that doesn't give the kids a very good point of reference. So, the question is, how do I begin to help Adia connect with who she is?
I'm going to tell you what we are doing, and you are more than welcome to chime in with other advice or ideas in the comment section. This is something we are taking really seriously around here. (If you know Adia, you know that once she sets her mind to something you can't do anything but take it seriously) So we would love to hear what YOU do to honor your haritage.
1. We have a huge advantage in that we have an open adoption. We have the opportunity to ASK her birth family about their history. I'm not even sure how much they connect with that part of their haritage, but at least they would be able to tell us about their history, and give her a greater understanding about where they come from and what traditions are a part of their lives. Because this is something that she wants I think in this instance she should be the one driving the persuit of it. I want her to take the lead and I just back her up, so she is in the process of drafting a letter to her Papa Steve asking questions about her family history, where they started out, and how they ended up in California, what their traditions are, etc. It's something that she is really working hard on, and I'm impressed with the things she wants to know, and the way she's thinking it through. I hope that this will give us a starting place to do some good research.
2. We are trying to learn the language. When Adia was little she thought that "Adios" was a personal greeting to her. You know, ADIE-OS. (I'm slightly ashamed of the American accent that is promanant in her pronunciation of the word... who taught her that? :) She would say goodbye to other people using the same greeting, "Grandma- os" "Ethan-os" "Mama-os". We are moving past that now, and pushing on to real words. We are just in the beginning stages, but we are starting to learn. We found a really cool website that helps you learn in an easy way and we are all benefiting from this.
3. We are getting into the food. We are taking it beyond "Taco Tuesday" and trying real, authentic Mexican dishes. We have a few recipes that have come from Troy's family cookbooks, and have tried things like tortillas, stuffed jalapenios and tamales. We have also tried some things we have found on the internet. This is one of the questions in Adia's letter to her birth grandpa, if maybe he has some family recipes he would share with her.
4. We are reading books about Mexico, Mexican history and children's lives there. We have learned a lot, but would love any suggestions of websites or books, or movies that could help us.
5. Finally, I just let her "be Mexican". She doesn't look like it or act like it or sound like it, but it's part of her, and if she wants to embrace that part of her, my job as her mom is to support her in that.
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