Flip Flops

We went school shopping on Monday night. Yes, it's getting to be that time again. At Old Navy they were having a sale that if you bought way too many shirts and a pair of pants you could get flip flops for $1. I knew that, I saw the sign, but I also know my son. Those of you who know Ethan, Have you ever seen him walk across the room without tripping? I don't think I have either. It's not his fault, he just has no sense of balance, and he goes too fast. He tries hard, he just doesn't have a graceful bone in his body. He trips no matter what, but add flip flops to the mix, and the poor guy doesn't stand a chance, so I decided to forgo the killer deal, and not mention the flip flops. But of course when we get to the check out stand the guy asks, "Do you know that if you buy fifty seven tee shirts and a pair of pants you get island safari flip flops for only a buck?" I nod my head, that yes, I know it, but want to pass. Unfortunately, Ethan hears the conversation. Yes, the ONLY time he listens to any conversation I have is the time that it involves him purchasing a one way ticket to the hospital for only a dollar. (Plus the cost of the four hundred eighty three tee shirts and the pants, and the hospital bills...) "What?" He exclaims, "Bright orange island safari flip flops for only a dollar! That's amazing. In fact I have a dollar, right here, in my pocket!" (Thanks Grandpa Lane, for paying him for all the work he didn't do this weekend) He animatedly pulls out the dollar slams it on the counter and tells the cashier to hook us up with a pair. What can I say, he's paying for it with his own money (Minus the 900 tee shirts, the pair of pants, the hospital bill, and the lawsuit that is inevitably going to be brought against us when Ethan tries to walk in the bargain flip flops, trips and falls through the store window, rolls into the street, totaling a car, and takes out an innocent bystander in a wheelchair... or something) So, we have flip flops. We have had them for two days. We have a broken plate, two skinned knees, one skinned elbow, a skinned toe, a sister with a goose egg on her head, a dent in our screen door, a kitchen floor that has needed to be mopped three times in the last 24 hours, an angry bus driver, and a concerned school teacher, all because the stinkin' cashier at Old Navy was doing his job! I think tonight while Ethan sleeps (If Ethan sleeps) the bright-orange-bargain-island-safari-flip-flop-monster might come and eat one for dinner... I'm off to track that guy down... Wish us luck... ALL of us.