Cats are for cooking!

So, it really isn't a secret that I don't like animals. I do like some people who like animals, but it's the people, not the pets that I enjoy. (If you are a cat person, please don't take offence to this post. I really don't have anything against people who like cats, or any other animal, they just aren't my preference. This is meant to be funny, not vicious or cruel.) (You know it's going to be bad when I have to preface the post with a disclaimer:) I don't know what it is about animals, but I REALLY don't like any of them, in fact, there are several that I... *(hate)* (I had to whisper that part because that is a naughty H word at our house.) It's true. And one of the tops animals on my list (Right under seagulls:) are cats. In fact, a long time ago, I started making jokes about cooking cats in the microwave. That being said, I want to put on the record that I have never cooked any animal at all, microwave, or any other way. It is just a silly thing that I started saying in high school, and never stopped. I know, grow up already... Anyway, we have friends who have pet cats, and so our kids, especially Adia ask every so often if they can have a cat. I (mostly) Jokingly tell them, "cats are for cooking, not for pets." It has never even occurred to me that this might not be the best thing to say to children until this past week at the park. We were sitting on a blanket having a picnic, when we got a visitor. I had never met this woman before, so I don't know why she picked us, but all of a sudden she came over and plopped right down on the blanket and started visiting. Immediately I could tell she was a "cat person" by the smell. That's not to say that everyone who likes cats smell bad, but I have this superhuman sense of smell, and I could totally smell "multiple cat owner" all over this lady! She introduced herself, and started talking to me about random things, as her son and my kids ran back and forth from the playground to the blankets, playing and eating. She had been sitting there for about ten minutes when she started talking about her cats. (did I mention that she seemed a few eggs short of an omelet) She has 22 cats. She told me their names, what kinds they are, how they had each "found their way" to her and what they liked to do. Some of them are very talented, and one can even "sing" Mary had a little lamb. She is thinking of entering him into the fair. (Talent contest portion?...Not really sure, she didn't specify) The entire time I was still trying to wrap my head around someone having 22 house cats. the conversation in my head was going something like this... "22 cats, what the...! how can you have that many cats. Think of the hairballs, think of the enormous amounts of poop that must create. How bad must her house smell? How bad must her neighbors want to move? Oh, I hope she lives in a LARGE house, and not an apartment or something. How the... do you end up with that many cats?...) In reality I painted a huge smile on my face, and acted interested, (My momma taught me manners:) all the while fighting the urge to dry heave. Through all of this I didn't notice that Adia had come back to the blanket, and was listening intently. All of a sudden she spoke the famous (in our house) words, "Cats are for cooking." I tried to shush her, as the lady asked "what was that?" I nearly dove across the blanket to clap my hands over her mouth before she could repeat herself, but I wasn't fast enough. "My mom says cats are for cooking in the microwave until they are crunchy, and serving them with ketchup" In an outrage my new "friend" told me what she thought of that, gathered up her son, and stormed away. She didn't let me explain, or anything- quite uncalled for, I think:)
Now on to other topics. Why do you think I don't have any friends?...:)